Willow's Rebellion
by LindsayR
Summary: One night, after being pushed too far, Willow takes her life into her own hands. Set sometime during season 4 before Spike is chipped
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:  Sadly I own no one…They all belong to Joss Whedon, etc.

Summary:  One night, after being pushed too far, Willow decides to take her life into her own hands.  

                 Set sometime in Season 4 before Spike is chipped.

***********************************************************************************************

Willow's Rebellion By 

**Anessa Ramsey**

           Willow stared at her reflection in the mirror, sighing when she saw that nothing had changed.  She was still the same old Willow.  Everyone saw her as the sweet, innocent hacker that was constantly in Buffy's shadow.  College hadn't done one thing to change what people thought of her.  She may have cut her hair and started dressing better but people still looked at her and saw her as she had been in high school: Buffy's pathetic little sidekick.  It made her sick to think about it sometimes.  She'd always been kind of boring but Oz had changed that for a while.  Now he was gone and there was nothing about her that made her stand out, not even the fact that she was a witch.

She pulled on a long, flowing, gauzy, emerald green skirt and a black tank top.  Over the tank top she tugged on a sheer black peasant blouse.  Examining herself in the mirror one more time, she tucked her hair behind her ears, grabbed her purse, and was almost to the door when Buffy barreled in.

"Willow, thank god you're here.  Giles needs some help translating some text in this new book he has.  He thinks it may be another prophecy.  He wants you to go over to his place tonight.  Oh, and bring your laptop with you."

"Where are you going?" Willow asked, slightly perturbed that Buffy hadn't noticed she was dressed for going out.

"Riley and I are going out to the Bronze.  There's this new band playing that is supposed to be really good.  I'm hoping that I can get him to loosen up and dance."

"I'd love to go help Giles, but…"

"Great!" Buffy said, cutting her off, while she pulled on a blue leather micro-miniskirt.  "He's expecting you soon so try not to keep him waiting.  She put on a  matching blue top and boots and was out the door before Willow could even try to object again.

"Thanks for asking if I had plans!" she said sarcastically to the door.  She threw her purse down on the bed.  Why was it everyone always took it for granted she had nothing better to do than help them?  Sometimes she thought that if she could just get away from Sunnydale things might be different.  

She looked at the phone debating on whether or not to call Giles and let him know she would be there.  Even as she stared at it she decided that for once she was not going to be bullied into being Miss Reliable.

Feeling rebellious and in the mood to have some fun for once, she stripped off the outfit she had just put on and began rummaging through Buffy's closet.  It wasn't long before she settled on wearing a pair of tan leather hip huggers and a dark brown v-neck sleeveless top.  She draped a couple of silver chains around her neck and wrapped a brown and tan scarf she had around it leaving the ends hanging down her body, nearly to her waist.  She put a silver arm band around her upper arm.  Her wrists were adorned with brown leather wrist cuffs and she pulled on a pair of dark brown leather boots that added a good two inches to her height.  She put some styling gel on her fingers and ran it through her hair, giving it a cute, tousled look.  She even used some of Buffy's make-up and outlined her eyes with dark kohl and mascara.  Her lips shimmered when she applied some peach flavored lip gloss.

She stepped back, finally satisfied that tonight she was going to be someone completely different.  Good-bye innocent Willow.  Hello rebellious Willow.  

She grabbed her purse off the bed and made her way out of the dorm.  It was dark out of course and she was very careful walking toward the Bronze.  About halfway there, she turned the corner and headed down a dank alleyway.  On the right side, at the very back of an old abandoned building, she knocked on a large iron door.  She'd only been there once before when a girl from the wiccan group at school had invited them.

The club, known as Morrigan's Lair, had been running for years and was a safe haven for anyone who entered the premises.  The owner, Morrigan, was a very powerful witch who felt that those who were on the fringes of society because of their differences, needed a place where they could socialize without fear of death or persecution.  Suddenly a panel slid open on the door.  "Password?" a gruff voice barked.

"Verbena Root," she said.  The door swung open and she walked in gracefully, not seeing the person watching her from the shadows, golden eyes glowing softly.

She checked her purse at the door, stuffing some money in her back pocket for drinks.  As she walked down the hallway she could hear the music pounding and was anxious to get inside and loose herself in it.  

The second she walked in several sets of eyes, both demon and human, turned to get a look at her.  She was new, most of them could tell, and she exuded power and sex.  She didn't stop at the bar or head toward a table, choosing, instead, to go straight to the overcrowded dance floor.  Soon she was lost in the pulsing music, dancing away all her cares.  

A couple of times a vampire, demon, or warlock would try to dance with her, but she just smiled and turned away, not wanting to deal with them.  After about forty five minutes of non stop dancing, she made her way through the crowd toward the bar to get something to drink.  As she moved she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched.

***************      

Spike couldn't help but stare at Red as she danced.  When he had walked out of the Espresso Pump, he had seen her walking down the street toward the Bronze.  He hardly recognized her in the outfit she was wearing.  She looked so delicious he knew that any vamp that laid eyes on her would try to turn her, but he wanted her for himself.  He hadn't eaten yet anyway.  He was surprised when she turned down the alley that led to Morrigan's Lair.  

Most demons, vamps, and witches in Sunnydale knew about Morrigan's.  It was one of the only places they could go that the Slayer didn't know about.  If she ever found out, no demon in town would have a safe haven.  But he never imagined that the Slayer's witch knew it existed.  He watched her disappear into the building and concentrated on trying to remember her real name.  It took it a few minutes but he finally got it.  Willow.  The name suited her.  She was strong and supple, bending with the breeze instead of breaking.

He followed her into the club, making sure to stay hidden in the shadows.  He watched as she immediately joined the gyrating throng of people on the dance floor.  

She moved like no one he'd ever seen.  Her pale skin looked translucent under the bright lights and lasers of the club.  Her hair danced like living flame around her lively face and he could tell that she was enjoying herself immensely.  

When the first vampire approached her, it took all his self-restraint to keep from going and pummeling the guy, who looked no older than nineteen.  He was pleased though when she just smiled, shook her head no, and turned away.  After a while she went to get some water but was soon back out on the dance floor and that was when he decided to make his presence known.

***************

Willow was lost in the beat, her head filled with nothing but the pounding of the music and the pulsing of the lights.  She was about to make her way to the DJ booth to request something when she felt a cold hand slip under her right arm and wrap itself around her bare stomach.  

She went to pull away but the arm just tightened, pulling her back against a long, lithe body.  He was definitely male and definitely a vampire.  She felt no heart beating against her back and no rise and fall of his chest.

"I really don't feel like dancing with anyone right now," she said, trying to pull away.

"What's the matter, luv?  Don't you want to dance with your old pal Spike?"

She jerked out of his hold and spun around so fast she lost her balance slightly and he caught her arms with his hands, steadying her.  Her heart started pounding rapidly, fear coiled tight in her stomach.  She knew that if she stepped outside this club tonight she would die.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, pulling herself away from his touch, ignoring the shivers that went down her spine.  She looked him over slightly, taking in the way he was dressed.  Gone was the leather duster, which he must have checked at the door.  He was wearing a sleeveless black shirt, and black leather pants.  On his feet were those same old boots that he always wore and his bleached hair, instead of being slicked back, was spiked up.  The finishing touch though, was the barbell that pierced his left eyebrow, covering some of the scar.

"Well, luv, I was on my way back to my crypt from the Espresso Pump, lookin' for a good meal, when there you are, walkin' down the other side o' the street, wearin' that getup designed to attract every vamp within a ten mile radius. I was feeling slightly peckish and was going to have you for dinner when you turned toward Morrigan's.  I didn't think you would know you about a place like this.  What happened to the Slayer's innocent little sidekick?"

The look he received at those words could have turned him to dust, it was so scorching.  "She decided to take the night off," Willow seethed.  Gone was the fear that had filled her a moment ago and in its' place was anger.  Her night had been going so well, but no, Spike had to come along and ruin it.

"What happened?  Did the slayer tell you to do something for her without even asking if you had plans?"  He smirked slightly when her eyes widened.

It was amazing sometimes how she was the only one who noticed that Spike could get inside people's heads without even really trying.  Sometimes she thought he could read people better than Drusilla ever had.  At least Spike talked to you in a way you could understand instead of using insane phrases about a doll speaking to him.  "How did you know?"

He grabbed her hand and dragged her off the dance floor toward a table so he could talk to her easier without the music pounding in his ears.  "I've seen how the Slayer and that whelp treat you.  I'm surprised you haven't lost it before now.  Why do you let them walk all over you?"

It was all too much for her to take in.  Spike wanted to have an actual conversation…with her.  Settling back in her chair, calming down a little, she said, "I don't let them walk all over me.  They're my friends.  I don't mind helping them out."  

She was lying through her teeth and he could tell.  "I don't buy it.  If you didn't mind you wouldn't be here, dancing your heart out, wearing an outfit your friends would die if they saw you in.  I'd be willing to wager that the Slayer would have a heart attack if she knew that you look twice as good in those pants as she does."

Willow couldn't help but blush at his bold comment.  "It's nice of you to say that Spike, but I'm not Buffy.   There's no way anything of hers looks better on me than on her."

Spike scowled.  "Bloody hell, Willow, have you never looked in a mirror?  You're more of a woman than she'll ever be.  She has the body of a child, while you're all sweetness and curves."

She sat there stunned for several seconds.  He actually knew her name…and was using it.  Then the rest of what he said registered and suddenly she couldn't stop blushing.  No one had ever spoken to her like that and the fact that it was Spike…well, he was gorgeous and she was pleased that someone so sexy thought she was better looking than Buffy, even if he was a vampire.  She was so used to being overlooked by men whenever Buffy was around that it felt strange to be complimented.  She glanced down at her hands, which were folded on the table, unsure of how to respond.  The time on her watch caught her eye and she jumped up, nearly knocking her chair over.  "Oh my gosh!  It's twelve forty-five.  I've got to go.  Buffy is always back before one and I have to get these back into her closet before she gets back to the dorm."

Spike stood up and grabbed her arm as she was about to make a run for the door.  "You'll never get there in time, Red.  Is there anywhere else you could stay tonight?  That way you could return the clothes to her closet tomorrow while she's in class.  She'll never even know they're missing."

Willow stopped and contemplated his words.  "I guess I could stay at my house.  My parents are gone, again.  This time it's on an extended European tour."

"So let's go.  I'll walk you home.  After all, we don't want the big uglies in this town to sink their teeth into your sweet flesh.  Wouldn't do, havin' such a sweet thing become evil."

Willow just looked up at Spike in awe.  Was this really the same vampire who managed to annoy the hell out of everyone on a daily basis?  Just an hour ago he was talking about making her his dinner.  What changed his mind?  When did he become so…nice?

She picked up her purse from the bag and coat check and was surprised when she saw that he didn't have his duster checked there.  She was so curious as to what happened to it she just had to ask.

He chuckled slightly.  "I sold it.  Got some good money for it, too."

"Why?"

            "Decided it was time for a change."  He gestured to the leather pants, spiked hair, and eyebrow piercing.  "I had this look about thirty years ago and liked it then so I went back to it."  He truly looked like a punk.

It didn't take long to get to her house and soon, she was standing on the front porch, debating on whether or not to invite him in.  He'd been so different tonight that she found she wanted to get to know him better.  All she knew was what they read in the watcher diaries.  Obviously there was more to him than that and he was letting her get to see it.  She knew it was crazy but after she unlocked the door she turned to face him only to find him inches away from her.

"I'm going to kiss you, Red," he said, smirking slightly at the surprise in her eyes.  It wasn't what she expected.  There was no roughness or plundering, just a soft touch of his lips to her own.  It was so gentle she wondered if it was even happening at all.  

He lingered for just a moment, savoring the taste of peaches on her lips before pulling back.  He looked down at her closed eyes and glossed lips and couldn't resist.  He swooped down again, taking her lips in a bold kiss designed to incite lust.  His mouth moved over hers tasting her sweetness.  

When her hands came up around his neck he latched his around her waist pulling her against his body.  She moaned at the contact and he used that opportunity to let his tongue delve into her mouth to taste the essence of her.  

For Willow it seemed to go on forever and ended far too soon.  He pulled back and stared into her brilliant green eyes.  He didn't know what just happened only that he knew that he had to taste her.

 "Do you want to come in?" she asked breathlessly, knowing that she was crazy for doing it but ignoring the rational part of her brain that told her not to ask.  She was a whole new person tonight who did what she wanted when she wanted to and all she wanted right at that moment was him.

"Do you really know what you're asking?  If you do this, I can come in anytime whether you want me to or not.  I'm not all souled like Angelus.  Are you sure you want to invite me in?" he asked, wanting nothing more than to follow her into the house.  His question was uncharacteristically noble and chivalrous.  She couldn't help the smile that teased at the corners of her mouth, turning them up slightly.

She looked into his eyes, and he was amazed at the trust he saw there.  She trusted him.  After everything that he'd done to her and her friends, she trusted him.  He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.  "Invite me in again."

"Come in, Spike."

She grabbed his hand and opened the door, pulling him in after her.  As the door closed behind them all they could think about was how much things were going to change after tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:  The same ole' thing.  Joss owns all and I own nothing.  

Dedicated to everyone who reviewed my story, especially Nayru Ikari, who wanted to read more.  Thank you!

Chapter 2

            It had been two weeks since she met Spike at Morrigan's Lair.  They had been the best two weeks of her life.  For someone who spent most of her life being ignored it was a nice change to have someone care for her and put her first.  And who would have thought that she and Spike would have so much in common?  Sometimes she looked at him and she couldn't believe that he wanted her.  It wasn't as if she was the most beautiful person in the world.  She certainly wasn't Buffy but Spike assured her that she was far more beautiful than Buffy would ever be.  

            The first night, when they met at Morrigan's, she'd been afraid of him.  After all, he was a vampire.  One who had tried to kill all of them on more than one occasion.  Except, he decided that he wasn't going to kill her.  They actually had a nice conversation and the more time she spent with him, the more relaxed she got.  He even walked her home and gave her the most passionate kiss she'd ever experienced.

            Buffy would freak out if she knew that she invited Spike into her home that night.  She wanted to be with him that night but once they were inside old fears surfaced and, despite her new attitude, she told him she wanted to wait.  Instead they spent the entire night just talking about themselves.  He told her about his life before he was turned and she still wasn't over the fact that he'd been a poet or that he was brilliant.  The word genius was the last thing that came to mind when you looked at him.  When they finally drifted off to sleep, he just held her and didn't try to force her into anything she wasn't ready for.

            Every night since then they would meet at the club and dance the night away, go to the movies, or get mochas from the Espresso Pump and head up to Kingman's Bluff in the DeSoto (She really loved that car!) before going to her house to sleep.  The only reason she ever went to the dorm anymore was to study between classes.  Buffy and Xander were both starting to get impatient with her because she hardly saw either of them.  Her appearance at Scooby meetings was virtually nonexistent unless they were during the day.  Giles had been extremely upset that she didn't show up to help with the translation of the prophecy even though it turned out that it was destined to occur in twenty two years.  He was the only one, though, who was pleased that Willow had gotten out of her friend's shadow.  Being relied upon solely for your intelligence was not a fun experience.  He should know.

            Buffy and Xander had also taken to criticizing her new wardrobe.  Spike had taken her shopping and replaced everything she owned.  She dressed confidently now and everyone was noticing it.  Anya was the only one who told her that she looked wonderful.  Giles had tried but ended up a stuttering mess, wiping his glasses to hide his embarrassment.

            Xander's comments were the most caustic because they'd been friends forever.  Hearing the words 'silly' and 'out of place' come out of his mouth had infuriated Willow.    All she wanted to do was to be this new person that she had found hiding inside.  

            She glanced at the clock and noticed that it was almost nine o'clock.  She was supposed to meet Spike at nine fifteen at her house.   She checked her reflection in the mirror, tugging slightly on her black leather skirt.  Her boots were laced up to her knees and she had on an emerald green corset.  Her hair was tousled again and she applied pale green eyeshadow and shimmery glitter to her eyelids then outlined them in black kohl.  She went with her standard peach lip gloss because Spike liked the taste.

            Butterflies flitted around in her stomach.  She thought about the black lace bikini underwear that she was wearing beneath the skirt.  Spike was in for a treat tonight.  She knew that tonight she wanted more than just kissing, she wanted to be with him.  She also knew that she was going to have to tell Buffy, and soon, if she wanted to keep Spike alive.  

            She was about to head out the door when Buffy came strolling in.  "Hey Wills, I thought we could…"she trailed off when she saw how Willow was dressed.  "Are you going out?"

            "Yeah."  Willow glanced at Buffy to see her reaction.    

            "Oh.  I thought we could make it a girls night and watch movies and eat popcorn," she said, upset that quality girl talk would have to wait.  She was dying to know what was behind the drastic change in Willow.  The new clothes and attitude were so different from the best friend she'd known for so long.  She'd been wrong to criticize Willow's new look.  Truth be told, she looked amazing.  This was supposed to be her chance to make it up to her.

            "I'm sorry Buffy, but I have a date."  This was the perfect opportunity to tell her about Spike.  She was in a good mood.

            Buffy's ears perked up when she heard that.  Willow was dating someone?  When did she get over Oz?  How long had this been going on?  Why was she only finding out about it now?  Had they drifted so far apart because of her inability to accept this new side of her friend?  With a million questions running through her head, she asked quietly, "Who's the guy?"  

            "Just a guy.  You know him actually.  But its been a while since he's been around.  You met him junior year of high school."  

            "He went to school with us?"  Who was this guy?  Willow never really knew a lot of guys from school, and the ones that she did know usually turned out to be freaks…like the one guy Chris who was playing Frankenstein with his brother….  She mentally slapped herself trying to get her thoughts back on track.  

            "No, he didn't go to school with us.  I just said that you met him.  He's actually out of school.  He was when we first met him."

            "How old is he?" Buffy asked, her gross out factor being tested.  Willow was dating some guy that was old.  Oh God!  I hope it's not Giles.  EWWW!  

            "Oh, he's around 23…I think."

            "You think?"  She sighed mentally.  Not Giles!

            "Yeah.  I never asked him how old he was when he was turned," she said, grabbing her watch from her desk and clasping it on her wrist.  

            Buffy seemed to freeze as everything Willow just said clicked in her mind.  She spun on her friend and yelled, "You're dating a vampire?!"  Her face was flushed with anger and she could hardly see straight.  Then she focused enough to ask "Who?"

            "Well, it's like this…" she said, trying to think of the best way to phrase it.  After a moment she just decided to blurt it out.  "I'm seeing Spike."

            "Spike?"  Buffy's face was turning red and Willow could practically see the steam coming out her ears.

            "Yes, Spike.  We've been seeing each other ever since the night I was supposed to help Giles with that translation."

            Buffy sort of collapsed onto her bed, shock suffusing her system.  "Please tell me you're joking," she choked out.

            "It's the truth, Buffy."

            "You haven't invited him in here have you?  After all he's probably just using you to get to me, so he can bag his third slayer."  She blinked, realizing how stupid it was to say that out loud.  She noticed the anger rising in Willow and knew she was about to bear the brunt of it's release.

            "No I haven't invited him in here.  Why would I?  After all, I live with the slayer and I wouldn't want him to end up dust.  Not everything is about you Buffy.  In fact, he's never even mentioned you, except to tell me that I'm far more beautiful.  After living in your shadow for so long it's nice to have someone notice me!"  She was seething.  "I invited him into my house and he's been staying with me every night.  Where did you think I was, or did you even care?"

            Buffy's jaw opened and shut and she looked like a fish out of water, gasping for air.  Finally she composed herself.  "You're sleeping with him!"  It wasn't a question.

            "Not yet," Willow said, smirking when Buffy just gaped at her.  "But I'm hoping to change that tonight."

            Buffy leapt off the bed and grabbed a crossbow and Mr. Pointy from her closet.  "How could you be so stupid as to invite him into your home?!  The first chance he gets he'll have you for a midnight snack."

            "Oh I hope so," Willow joked.  Buffy just glared at her.  "What he's cute, and sexy, and treats me really well.  What more could you ask for in a guy?  Besides we have tons in common.  He's way smarter than me.  I couldn't believe it.  He's a genius.  And he knows what's it like to be overlooked because it.  He's mine Buffy.  I'm falling in love with him."

            "Willow, this is Spike we're talking about!  He tried to kill me and Angel on more than one occasion."

            "So this is about Angel?"  She saw Buffy tense up.  "I'm sorry he left Buffy, but I won't let you destroy this.  I'm happy with Spike.  I'm happier than I have been in a long time.  I know that it doesn't make sense and it probably never will… for you…but he makes me feel so alive.  I've never felt so good about myself.  Can't you just be happy for me?"

            Buffy just shook her head sadly.  "I'm sorry Willow, but Spike is evil and he'll show his true colors sooner or later.  He's only going to hurt you.  I'm going to make sure he's dead…er, dust… before he gets a chance."  She stormed out the door and began to run down the stairs, heading toward Willy's, determined to find and dust the Bleached Wonder.

Willow on the other hand hurried to her house where Spike was going to meet her.  She had to keep him away from Buffy.  There was only one place in Sunnydale to keep him safe...Morrigan's.  

            He was sitting on her front porch, a cigarette hanging from his mouth, the red tip glowing and the soft puffs making clouds in the night sky.

            "She knows Spike," she said, not even bothering to sit next to him.  "We have to get to Morrigan's.  Like now.  You need to lay low for a while."

            "You told her?"  He was surprised that she was willing to admit it to the Slayer.  He thought they'd be keeping it a secret, but it pleased him to know that she wasn't ashamed of him.

            "I told her.  Now she's gunning for you.  I tried to tell her that you weren't out to hurt me or her in any way, but she just wouldn't believe me."  He stood up and wrapped his arms around her.  "Nothing is going to happen to me, luv.  I've been fighting for a good long time.  I'll make sure that I avoid her, and if I do come across her I'll make sure that I leave her alive."

            "How considerate of  you," Buffy said, trying not to retch at the sight of Willow holding onto Spike as if her life depended on it.

            "Buffy…" she began, but Spike put a hand on her arm and she stopped, willing to let him try to talk to her irrational friend.

            "Hello, Slayer."

            "Spike, I never thought you would sink so low.  You were a worthy adversary once, but the fact that you've resorted to using my friends against me, well, it destroyed any shred of respect that I had for you."

            "I know you won't believe me, Slayer, but I'm not using her against you.  I don't want to hurt you or any of your friends.  All I want is Willow.  It's always been her.  Ever since I kidnapped her she's been in my mind and my heart.  And I'm not going to let you or anyone else stand in our way.  I won't kill you but I won't let you break us apart."

            Buffy stood there, unable to believe what she was seeing.  He actually looked sincere.  She'd seen him with a lot of different facial expressions, but now, when he looked at Willow all she could see was awe.  He was awestruck.  It was more than she'd ever seen in his eyes when he looked at Drusilla.  He looked at Willow like he was proud that she had chosen him.  With Drusilla he'd taken care of her for so long that he didn't know any other life.  He'd become more of a caregiver than a lover.  She could see that with Willow it was different.  He was glad she was strong and capable.  She was his equal.

            She lowered the crossbow.  Willow glanced at her hope filling her eyes.  Buffy sighed, realizing that her friend had fallen for a soulless vampire.  Would any of her friends ever have a normal relationship or did her presence in their lives destroy any chance of them leading a normal life?  "I can't say that I like this.  Spike and I have been enemies for too long."  She sighed, knowing she couldn't say anything without sounding like a hypocrite.  But Angel had a soul….  "I also know that I can't object to it...after all…Angel.  I will say, though, that if I catch you feeding from a human all that will be left of you will fit into a dustbuster.  And don't you ever think of hurting Willow!"

            She expected some sort of sarcastic comment or argument about not feeding on humans.  She expected him to prance around all arrogance and swagger.  Instead he clung to Willow, his arm around her waist and his head buried in her hair.  

            When he looked up at her, she could see the tears in his eyes and it was the last thing she expected.  He nodded, a sign of thanks and probably the only concession she would ever get from him.  As she walked away she looked back over her shoulder just in time to see Spike kiss Willow gently and with such reverence it nearly made her cry.  If she needed any more proof that Spike was telling the truth it was in that kiss.

            As she got closer to the dorms she couldn't help but wonder at how Xander and Giles' would react to Willow's news.  Just the thought of it spread a slow smirk across her lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer:  I own nothing…all belongs to Joss Whedon, etc.

Chapter 3

'I've got to stop looking at her, Anya's starting to notice,' Xander thought to himself, amazed at the sight of Willow who was leaning back against the counter in one of her new outfits.  She was talking to Buffy and she looked happier than he'd seen her look in a long time.  Unfortunately all the new clothes she now wore were making him notice her in ways he never had before, not even when they had that…thing…in high school.  Today she was probably wearing the most daring outfit he'd ever seen her in.  She had on a pair of black leather shorts that zipped up the front, hugged her hips, and were so tight they molded to her body.  Her entire stomach was exposed because she had on a blood red tube top and when she moved light glinted off the silver ring that now adorned her bellybutton.  A thin silver chain wrapped around her stomach linked through the ring.  She was also getting a nice light tan.  Buffy had mentioned that Willow was going to a tanning salon.  Blonde highlights weaved through her hair which was cut into a short bob that only reached her earlobes.   The Willow that had been his best friend for so long was completely obliterated.  

            The bigger change, which he didn't like so much, was in her attitude.  She was more outgoing and laughed a lot more than she used to.  She refused to be relegated to the role of Research Girl anymore.  She would help, but only if everyone pitched in and didn't leave it to her and Giles to do it.  She never showed up for nighttime Scooby meetings…ever.  She even insisted that Buffy begin training her to defend herself.  She made jokes and comments that never would have escaped her lips before the change.  Whatever was responsible for this new person, he didn't like it.  Yet everyone else actually seemed to like her better.  He just wanted the old Willow back.

            "So Xan Man," Willow said. "What's on the agenda for today?  Why'd Giles call this impromtu Scooby meeting?  I have plans in about forty-five minutes," she said, glancing outside at the ever-fading evening sun.

            "Where do you go every night?" he demanded.  "None of ever see you anymore.  You never come to the Bronze or go patrolling with us.  What do you do that takes all night?"  He paused to take a breath.  "You're not doing drugs are you?

            "No!  God Xander!" Willow cried, horrified at the thought.

            "Well the only other explanation that I can come up with is that you're dating a vamp," he said, not noticing the anxious looks Buffy and Willow cast at each other.  Anya wasn't blind though and caught them.  She smirked at the thought of Little Miss Innocent hooking up with a vampire.  She was going to speak up, but Xander kept going.  "But that's impossible.  I know you'd never…not after what happened with Buffy and…" he trailed off when he received a scathing look from Buffy.  "Anyway, I know that you'd never date a vampire, but come on Wills, you're never around anymore."

            Willow sighed.  For weeks he'd been saying the same thing.  'We never see you anymore Willow?' or 'Where did you go last night?' and now it was 'You're not doing drugs are you?'.  It was getting old.  "Xander, what bothers you more, my new look or the fact that I might have a life outside of you and these meetings?" she snapped.  Her anger was short lived though, when Anya started clapping.  

            Xander looked at her, horrified.  "Why are you clapping?"

            "Because Willow stood up for herself and I'm all for women sticking up for themselves.  I was the vengance demon of scorned women for over a thousand years Xander.  Women need to be more forceful and aggressive in situations where men think they should remain shy and meek."  She smiled at Willow.  "You go, girl."

            Willow gave Anya a weird look and small smile.  "Thanks, Anya."

            "No problem.  I'm always happy to support a woman standing up for who she is."

            "Anyways," Willow said, trying to get the conversation back on track, "it's none of your business what I do with my time.  If I choose to spend it with you, that's great.  You're my best friend, but it doesn't give you the right to run interference in my life or judge how I live it.  If I want to go out and choose not to tell you what I'm doing, that's my decision."

            From the doorway to the training room, Giles watched the scene in silence.  Willow was changing and much of it was for the better.  He was however concerned that her new ways would eventually result in tearing the group apart.  He knew Anya would side with Willow if it came down to it.  She still thought like a vengance demon and so would automatically be inclined to feel more loyalty to the fairer sex.  Buffy would also side with Willow, having already accepted this new side of her.  It looked as if it came down to Xander or Willow, Xander might find himself out in the cold.  He noticed that the discussion was becoming heated and decided to intervene before anyone got hurt.

            He stepped into the room and began to speak.  "I must say that I do agree with Willow on this.  What she does with her time is her business.  We do not have the right to interfere unless we believe she is doing something that is dangerous to herself or others.  Now may we start this meeting.  I would very much like to go home for the night and as you can see it is already quite late."

            Willow turned to look outside.  Bollocks!  The sun had set.  She looked at the clock and saw that she only had twenty minutes until she was supposed to meet Spike. 

            Buffy nudged Willow glancing around the room.  "Tell them," she hissed.  "They're all here.  It's the perfect opportunity."

            Giles sat down at the table.  "Shall we get started?"

            Willow hesitated then spoke up.  "Can I say something first?"

            "Of course, Willow.  What is it?"

            "Well, since we were discussing my choices and recent absence from most things Scooby, and since all of you are here, I thought it would be the perfect time to tell you what I've been doing with my time."

            "Finally," Xander said sarcastically.

            She glared at him before continuing, taking comfort in the fact that Buffy was by her side supporting her.  "I've been seeing someone."

            "Good for you!  Are you having lots of orgasms?" Anya said.

            "Congratulations," Giles mumbled unsure of how to respond.

            Xander just glared at her.  

            "That's not all.  He's…well…he's…" she stammered, trying to spit it out.

            "Oh just say it Willow," Anya snapped.

            Willow flushed slightly.  "He's a vampire."  She watched at Giles turned pale while Xander turned beet red.  "And not just any vampire.  It's Spike."

            Xander shot out of his seat, and roared, "What?!" causing Willow to step back from the anger upon his face.  Giles took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose, quickly coming to the realization that nothing would be accomplished during this meeting.  Willow could practically hear the thought 'Why Me?' running through his head over and over.

            Buffy jumped in.  "Sit down Xander!" she ordered, surprised that he actually followed the command.  He glared at her sullenly, but didn't speak.

            "How long Willow?" Giles asked.

            "Six weeks."

            "And how long have you known, Buffy?"

            "Four weeks," she said meekly.

            "He hasn't tried to hurt you, Willow?"

            'Only in the most wonderful ways,' she thought, before saying, "No."

            "And he hasn't tried to come after Buffy, obviously, seeing as she is still standing right in front of us.  Is he feeding off humans?  I can't see either of you allowing that."

            "He's not feeding.  I told him that I would dust him if he did," Buffy replied.

            Giles sighed.  "Seeing as how he has not threatened any of us so far and has managed to keep out of trouble, I see no harm in letting the matter drop.  It is none of our concern who Willow dates as long as he is not a threat."  He looked at Willow.  "I would, however, like to speak to him in private and the both of you together as well.  I'll leave it to you to make the arrangements."

            Willow nodded, glad that Giles had remained so calm.  It was Xander she really had to worry about.

            "Now that Giles has finished giving his consent," Xander snapped, angry that Giles wasn't overly upset, "I have some questions of my own.  How long have you been screwing the undead?"

            Willow's temper flared up.  It was time to show them just how much she changed.  No more Miss Innocent.  She opened her mouth and let him have it.  "It's none of your business really.  But if you're that interested in my sex life, I've been having the most wonderful orgasms imaginable for four weeks.  There's nothing like his cool hands touching me everywhere or the feeling of his muscular chest pinning me to the mattress as we both come down from heaven."  She ran her hands down her sides and licked her lips.  "He knows how to do things to me that I never could have imagined.  I've gotta tell ya, Xan Man, there's nothing better than a man with experience.  He makes me feel things that you never did.  And Oz never came close to making me feel like I'm on a three day high.  He's like an electric current.  Every time he touches me I light up.  He's the most amazing lover, but just kissing him is enough to get me off."  She smirked when she saw that Anya was practically salivating.  She was kind of sorry to put Giles through that but the end result was to give as good as she got to Xander.

            "Thank you Willow, for that detailed insight to your…romantic life," Giles said, polishing his glasses again.

            "What the hell has he done to you, Willow?  You wouldn't be acting like this if it wasn't for him!" 

            "I hate to break it to you Xander, but he hasn't done anything to me except treat me well…and give me plenty of orgasms," she said, smiling at Anya, who was still in drool mode.  "I met him after I started dressing like this.  I wasn't having any fun.  All of you were all too eager to relegate me to the role of Research Girl or Little Miss Innocent.  I'm not either of those people!  You and Buffy ignored me for weeks, too busy with Riley and Anya to notice I was upset about Oz leaving or that I was bored and depressed.  I was actually contemplating transferring to a different school away from Sunnydale just to get a life.  You should thank your lucky stars I met him because he's the only reason I stayed in this town.  Do you think I really planned to spend my life fighting the good fight?  I want to travel and see the world.  But there are demons to slay and apocalypses to avert.  I don't regret that I get to help Buffy because it's a good cause and I like knowing that I help protect the world from evil, even if no one else knows.  But I do get a life Xander.  If Buffy can have one while being the Chosen One then I can damn well have one as a Scooby!"

            "Would you listen to yourself?  He has totally destroyed my best friend!"

            "He didn't destroy me Xander.  I destroyed your perception of me.  I destroyed the mold that you were all to ready to shove me into.  If you can't handle that it's not my problem.  You can't stop me from seeing him and believe me you don't want to try."  Her eyes seemed to light with an inner fire, darkening to an emerald green, and they could see a faint glow surround her body.  Giles just stared at her, Buffy and Anya mimicking his look of stunned awe.  "I will not let you ruin this for me.  You don't want to cross me Xander.  And if you try to hurt him I will come after you."  She stopped and slowly the light around her faded and her eyes lightened back to their normal shade of green.

            "Willow?" Giles asked.

            "I've been training."

            "I can see that.  With who?"

            "Morrigan Adaire."

            "The Morrigan Adaire?"

            "Yes."

            "Oh my."

            "Don't worry, Giles.  She's only been teaching me for a few weeks."

            "Yes, well she's obviously very good and you've learned quite a lot of control in a short time.  She's one of the most powerful witches on the west coast.  I wasn't aware she was even in Sunnydale.  Do you think…Would it be possible…" he began, but Willow cut him off.

            "I'll arrange a meeting."

            "Thank you, that would be quite lovely."

            "Hello to the weirdness!  Did everyone go completely nuts?  Willow just threatened me!  And she was GLOWING!"

            Giles had had enough.  "Xander!  Do shut your gob and sit down before you lose your best friend!"

            "Don't bother Giles," Willow said sadly.  "He already has.  I've got to go.  I'm running late."

            "Going to screw your murdering lover?" Xander snapped.

            Willow didn't say anything, just looked at him and shook her head sadly.  

Buffy reached over and touched her arm, trying to comfort her but knew it wouldn't do much.  "I'll come over tomorrow morning.  We'll ditch classes and have a girls day, okay?"  She looked over at Anya, knowing that the ex-vengance demon was left out a lot.  "Anya will come too.  We'll veg out and eat ice cream and do each others' hair.  You can tell us all about Spike.  I want details, especially about what he was like before he was turned."

Willow nodded and walked out the door.  When the bell clanged behind her Xander stood up.  "I can't believe you are all so accepting of this."  He turned on Buffy.  "Especially you.  You're supposed to be the Slayer.  So slay him already!"

"And loose my best friend?  I don't think so Xander.  He hasn't done anything to warrant being dusted.  I've been keeping an eye on him.  He buys his blood at the butcher like a good little vampire instead of going out and feeding on innocents.  And until he does something completely evil I'm not going to hurt Willow.  He loves her.  She loves him.  I've seen it.  Deal with it."

"You're her watcher!  Order her to dust him."

"You seem to be forgetting that she has never taken orders from me or the Council.  Why on earth would she start now?"

            "I can't believe you are just going to keep letting her date Spike!  This is Spike we're talking about!"

            Anya spoke up.  "Stop it, Xander!  She's happy.  Stop acting like a jealous idiot and accept it.  I respect her more for what she did here today that I have since I met her.  She's strong and capable and stood up to people she knew would be upset about who she was in love with.  But she never faltered once.  Be proud that she's not meek little Willow.  Be happy that she found out who she is and what she wants."

            Buffy and Giles looked at Anya like they'd never seen her before.  She actually said a whole little speech without once mentioning orgasms or sex.  And it was an amazing speech.  Who knew she was so…insightful?  Giles gazed at her with a whole new appreciation and she glanced right back at him while Xander was fuming.  'Older men are always the way to go.  I just have to get rid of Xander first,' she thought, checking Giles out.

            Buffy saw the look that Anya and Giles shared and tried not to burst out laughing.  'Way to go, Giles!' she yelled silently.

            "I'm leaving.  I can't sit here and do nothing.  If you guys won't do something about her and Spike then I will."  

            "Xander!"  Buffy cried, grabbing his arm.  "Don't do anything you'll regret.  If you do you'll lose Willow forever."

            "I'm sorry, Buffy, but I just can't sit here and let her become like him.  You saw her tonight!  That wasn't Willow.  That was a female version of Spike in Willow's body.  I'm going to make her come to her senses, even if it takes dusting him to do it."

            She let go of his arm.  "He'll kill you if you try."

            "I'm not going to try.  Someone else is."  He turned and walked out the door not hearing Buffy shout, "What are you going to do?"

            Giles was the first to speak after Xander stormed out.  "I highly suggest that you tell Willow of this development tomorrow.  And make sure that Spike stays at her house during the day.  We can't have him staying at the mansion or warehouse.  Xander would look there first."

            "I'll make sure."  She sighed.  "Is it just me or does it feel weird to be talking about protecting Spike from Xander?"

            Anya began to giggle at the thought and soon all of them were laughing loudly at the idea.

            Spike could tell something was wrong.  Willow was seriously late which was unusual.  He glanced at his watch for the fifth time in ten minutes.  "Where are you?" he mumbled, pacing the sidewalk in front of her house.

            "I'm right here," she whispered coming up the walk.

            Before she could take another step she was pulled into his strong arms.  His mouth crushed hers, stealing her breath and causing her heart to pound.  She could feel the desperation and worry in his kiss.  Closing her eyes, she lost herself in him, feeling the soft brush of his leather pants against her legs and the smell of cigarette smoke lingering around him.  She pressed herself against him, moving her hips in small circles against him letting him know that she wanted him.

            He pulled away from her and gazed down into her face, his blue eyes dark as cobalt.  "Willow?" he asked, knowing something was wrong.  He could feel the tension in the muscles of her back as he stroked it lightly.

            "I told the rest of them tonight."

            Seven little words and yet they made such a huge impact.  He stiffened and pulled away, afraid that they had changed her mind even after that kiss.  "And?"

            "It didn't go exactly like I hoped."

            He didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue.  He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, removing one and lighting up, hands shaking slightly.

            "Buffy stood by my side supporting me.  Anya took it well, but that doesn't count.  She used to be a vengence demon so of course it didn't bother her.  Giles was way calm.  He reacted well, but he does want to speak to you in private and then both of us together.  I'm sure that it'll be fine though."

            "And the whelp?" he asked, sitting down on the top step of the porch.

            "Xander didn't react well.  He asked me how long I'd been screwing the undead."  Spike growled low in his throat, every impulse inside him demanding that he drain the boy.  "Stop growling.  I stood up for myself just fine, in a way that had Anya drooling, Giles cleaning his glasses, and Xander steaming at the ears."

            Spike could practically read her mind and had a pretty good idea of what she said.  He smiled.  "You didn't?"

            "Oh, I did.

            He jumped up and stomped out the cigarette before grabbing her up in his arms and swinging her around.  "Did I ever tell you that you're a bold little chit?"

            "No."

            He kissed her softly, his eyes sparkling.  "Did I ever tell you that I love you?"  Willow's breath caught in her throat.  He set her on the ground.  "I do love you, you know.  No matter what that boy or anyone else says."  He looked down, fumbling slightly to get something out of the pocket of his pants.  When he pulled out a small black box, Willow couldn't help but gasp.  "Don't get too bloody excited."  He opened the box.  Inside sat a small white gold ring, inlaid with emeralds all the way around.  "It's just something for you to tell everyone that you're mine."  He took it out and showed her the inscription on the inside.  It said, 'My Soul.  W.N.J.'.  Slowly he took her left hand and slid it on the appropriate finger.  "I thought putting My Love on it would be too common.  And you are anything but common, luv.  You're precious and unique.  You're my soul, Red.  You make me complete."  He laughed slightly.  "Bloody hell, you seem to be the only one who can reduce me to sounding like William Nickelby.  I hate that you know."

            "I love it.  I love you, every part of you.  Whether you sound like William or Spike doesn't matter.  You're both.  You're the man I love."  She threw her arms around his neck.  "Let me show you how much I love you," she whispered in his ear.  He growled softly before grabbing her around the waist and tossing her over his shoulder.

            "Spiiikkkeeee!" she screeched, giggling at the same time.  

            He just smiled and carried her inside the house where they proceeded to spend the night wrapped in a cocoon of adoration and love.  And for those short nighttime hours they were able to forget the trouble that lay in wait for them in the outside world.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer:  I own nothing…everything belongs to Joss Whedon, etc.

Chapter 4

            Buffy knocked on the door again, certain that Willow was home.  They were supposed to meet for their girls only day at nine o'clock.  

            "Maybe she went to get something for Spike?" Anya said, trying to peer in the darkened window.  It looked like Willow had sun-proofed the house which meant Spike was probably living there.

            "Then it would only make sense that he would be here to let us in."

            "Isn't there a spare key that she keeps somewhere in case of an emergency?"

            Buffy looked at her with relief written across her face wondering why she didn't think of it before.  "She keeps a spare key under the placemat by the back door.  We'll just let ourselves in.  She won't mind."

            They walked around back and had soon let themselves into the kitchen.  Buffy set down the heavy grocery bags she was carrying and Anya placed all the cosmetics, hair supplies, and movies on the counter.  

            As she was putting the groceries away, Buffy said, "Why don't you go see if Spike is sleeping.  He's probably passed out in bed."

            Anya crept quietly up the stairs determined to keep quiet so she wouldn't be confronted by a cranky, tired vampire.  When she reached the top of the stairs she heard a deep moan and wondered if Spike was having a nightmare.  

            She walked closer towards the master bedroom at the end of the hall.  The door was ajar just enough for her to look inside.  Her eyes widened in surprise.  She found Spike, only he wasn't alone and he certainly wasn't having a nightmare.    

            Anya watch the two lovers for a moment, wishing she knew what it was like to experience that kind of passion.  She only tore her eyes away when she heard the creak of the stairs.  It wouldn't be a good scene if Buffy saw Willow like that, so she went to head her off.

            "Buffy, I don't think we should be up here.  I found Spike."

            "And?"

            "He and Willow are a little busy right at the moment."

            "What do you mean, busy?  What kind of…" she trailed off at the look Anya sent her.  "Oh."

            "Yeah.  We should just wait downstairs and give them an opportunity to get…composed."

            "I think that's a good idea," Buffy said, turning and hurrying down the stairs as quickly as possible.

            Half an hour later, Willow practically skipped down the stairs, her hair slightly mussed wearing only a t-shirt and pink striped bikini underwear.  She was almost to the sink when she noticed Anya and Buffy sitting at the table.  Her eyes went wide.  "How long…?"

            "Long enough," Anya said, smiling.

            "What time…?"

            "Nine forty," Buffy replied.

            "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I just…kind of got caught up in something."

            "Yeah, Spike," Anya muttered.

            Willow closed her eyes.  "How much did you see?" she asked Anya, knowing somehow that the ex-demon had seen her and Spike.

            "Enough.  I thought you were going to burn the house down it was so intense."

            Buffy just looked at her as if she'd never seen her before, while Willow choked on the coffee she just poured herself.

            "Oh.  Anya I'm really sorry you saw that."

            "I'm not.  It was beautiful.  He loves you, you know.  No one makes love that passionately unless it's the real thing."

            "Thank you Anya for that wonderful insight into Willow's romantic liaisons.  Can we please get back to the fact that we're here for a girls' day.  Which means, Willow, that you need to go upstairs, get into some decent pajamas, come back down and veg."  Buffy was in complete control.  "Oh and tell that vampire of yours to make himself scarce."

            "Okay," Willow said, bounding back up the stairs, obviously not too concerned with the fact that one of her friends had just seen her _en flagrante.  _

            Twenty minutes later she came bounding back down the stairs in a pair of cotton shorts with flowers embroidered along the hem and a matching tank top.  She looked more like the old Willow than she had in weeks.  Buffy and Anya had both made use of the downstairs bathroom and changed into their pajamas as well.

            "So what movies did you guys bring?" She asked, pulling a tub of ice cream out of the fridge.  Mmmm…Chunky Monkey, her favorite.

            "We brought Breakfast at Tiffany's," Buffy said, noticing Willow sigh.  Wills always was a sucker for a classic.  "We also brought Bridget Jones' Diary and Bring It On."

            "You didn't.  If Spike hears that he'll be down here ruining our girl day.  He's obsessed with that movie.  A bunch of young girls in short skirts."  She grinned, a wicked thought coming to her.  "Maybe I'll have to buy a cheerleading outfit…just for him."

            "Willow!" Both girls cried, shocked.

            They each grabbed their own tub of ice cream and went into the living room.  "I don't feel like watching a movie yet.  There's too many questions I have just been dying to ask Willow," Anya said, smiling.

            "I kind of figured this was coming…give it your best shot."  Buffy smiled at her friend's new non-chalant attitude concerning her personal life.  It was also nice to have Anya around.  Who knew that the former vengeance demon was so much like a normal person when you got to know her?  Maybe they never noticed it because Xander spent so much time trying to change her that they took their que from him.

            "Okay.  How big is Spike?  Honestly.  Cause upstairs he looked huge."

            "Well, he says he's a little over eight, but you know most guys exaggerate right?  Well, I haven't measured or anything, but if I had to go on feeling alone, I'd say he was telling the truth."  Anya sighed, thinking about the things she could do with a guy that hung.

            "My turn!" Buffy said.  "What's the most interesting position you've done it?  I've got to imagine Spike knows a lot of different ways."

            Willow blushed slightly and cleared her throat.  "He's not rushing me as far as experimenting goes.  I know he's a sub, after all he belonged to Angelus, but we have yet to explore that," she said with a wicked grin.  She looked at Buffy, who was wide eyed.  Obviously Angel didn't tell her certain aspects of his relationship with Spike.  She continued quickly, not giving Buffy a time to question her response.  "So far I'd have to say that the most interesting thing was when he stood me in front of the full length mirror in my room and had me watch as he used his hands and mouth on me.  It was almost like a ghost was going down on me because he wasn't reflected in the mirror."  Buffy raised her eyebrow, a little surprised by how open Willow had become.

            "Willow is so lucky.  Spike's body is gorgeous.  I'm actually jealous.  She has Spike, you have Riley, who is also built, and all I have is Xander, the walking doughboy."

            "But not for long right.  After all, the person you really want is Giles," Buffy chided, loving the look of shock that appeared on Anya's face.

            "You want Giles!" Willow cried.

            For once Anya was speechless.  "You should have seen the way they were looking at each other after you left last night," Buffy crowed.

            "Okay, I want Giles.  All that talk of how older men have more experience just got me thinking about the good old times when I was a demon and I realized she was right.  Out of all the relationships I had, the ones with older demons lasted longer than the ones with the younger demons.  Mainly because the older ones actually knew what they were doing.  I bet Giles definitely knows his way around a bedroom."

            "TMI," Willow laughed. When she got herself under control, she turned to Buffy.  "Okay, Buff, time to face the music.  Is Riley as boring in bed as he is out of it?"  Anya started laughing when Buffy tried to look offended and failed miserably.

            "Why is it that when I say I want safe and normal, I end up with boring?"

            "Because safe and normal are boring.  I take it by that statement, it's completely missionary all the way?"

            "Yes.  He never wants to experiment."

            "Oh.  I know why.  It's because he's a control freak.  He needs to be in control and you're probably the most out of control thing in his world.  He needs to be on top as a show of dominance over you.  It's that whole caveman thing.  Don't take it personally.  It's just the type of person that he is.  It's what he was trained to be."

            Again with the insightful words from Anya.  "You're like a mini-Giles, only your knowledge is in the study of human behavior," Willow said.

            "Okay, I have to know what Spike was like before he was turned.  Was he the Big Bad?  A thief?  Or was he like Angel, an aristocrat's son?"

            "He'll kill me for telling you this, but he was the son of a baron.  He was a scholar and a poet.  A very bad poet which is how he earned the nickname William the Bloody…Awful Poet."

            "A poet!" Buffy managed to choke out as she giggled hysterically.  Anya was right next to her laughing loudly.  When they both managed to calm down, Anya said, "As much fun as this is, I don't think any of us could top that.  I'm ready for a movie." 

            "Put in Bring It On," Willow said, not caring if Spike came down.  "There's this chick in it that looks just like Faith."

            Ten minutes into the movie, Spike came bounding down the stairs, wearing only a pair of blue jeans that just barely clung to his slim hips.  "You're watching Bring It On, aren't you, Red?"  Willow nodded.  "Can I join you?"  He looked hopefully from Anya to Buffy.  They both nodded, trying not to smirk as they pictured him naked  

            When Spike was curled up next to Willow, Buffy turned to them.  "I forgot to tell you.  Xander is up to something.  He said that he wasn't going to come after Spike himself but that he was going to get someone else to do it.  Giles and I agreed that it would be best if you stay here in the house as much as possible."

            "I don't think that will be much of a problem, Slayer," he purred, running a finger down Willow's arm.  

            "So Spike, do you think you could recite some poetry for us," Buffy giggled, knowing that it would drive him crazy that she knew.

            "Damn it Red, she wasn't supposed to know.  Now I'm never going to live it down."

Willow just patted his arm in a comforting gesture, her gaze on the TV.  "There she is," she said. 

            Buffy looked up and couldn't believe it.  It was Faith's doppelganger.  "Looks like you weren't kidding.  She's the exact image of Faith."

            All thoughts of Xander and poetry were lost as they sat back to watch the movie and enjoy their day.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon, etc.

Summary:  Xander recruits Angel to dust Spike.  Things don't go as planned.  

Pairings:  This is a W/S story, but the next couple of chapters have a hint of S/A, and W/A friendship

Author's Note:  I wrote this on the basis that Angel is Spike's sire, not Dru.  This wasn't exactly where I had planned on going with the story, but this is where my mind ended up taking me.  I hope you enjoy it.  Feedback is always welcome…good or bad.  

Chapter 5

            While the girls were having a good time discussing men and relationships, Xander was heading down Interstate 5 towards LA.  He was boiling over with anger and there was only one person he knew who could rid them of Spike once and for all, and that was the person who hated the Bleached Wonder more than he did…Angel.

            It only took two hours for him to get to Angel's hotel.  He stared at the Hyperion for several moments, unable to believe that the whole place belonged to Deadboy.  Getting out of his car, he walked across the street and up the steps, into the lobby.

            "Welcome to Angel Investigations.  We help the hopeless," Cordelia chanted, repeating every word of the slogan.

            "Well, I never thought I'd see the day where Cordelia Chase is a receptionist," Xander said sarcastically.  

            Cordelia frowned looking up with a big question mark on her face.  "Xander."

            "Cordy.  How are you?"

            She tried to speak but it took her a moment.  "Good.  I'm good."

            "Good."  He looked around.  "Where's Deadbo…Angel?"

            "He's…."

            "Right here.  Xander, what brings you here?  Is everything all right?  Is it Buffy?"

            Xander rolled his eyes.  Of course he'd ask if it was Buffy.  "No, this time it's not Buffy.  But we do have a problem that we need your help with."

            Angel looked at the boy suspiciously.  Something was wrong with this picture.  Giles would have called if it was something dire.  He never would have sent Xander all the way to LA.  "What is it?"

            "It's Willow."

            Cordelia spoke up.  "Hey, I heard that she's changed a lot.  Harmony was here last week…and before you say anything, yes I know she's a vampire.  Anyway, she saw Willow dancing at this club.  Apparently she didn't even recognize her at first.  And she was there with some wickedly hot guy."

            "Yeah, well that wickedly hot guy was none other than Spike."  Silence filled the air.  "Hello, anyone home.  I just said that Willow is involved with Spike."

            Angel stiffened at the mention of his favorite childe's name.  "Willow is dating Spike?"

            "That's what I just said."

            "But Willow would never…"Cordelia said, trying to rationalize what he was saying to herself.

            "You haven't seen her lately.  She cut her hair and highlighted it.  She got her bellybutton pierced.  All of her old clothes are gone and she's wearing things like leather shorts that zip up the front and tube tops.  She doesn't come to Scooby meetings anymore, and worst of all is her attitude.  She's started talking back to people and not listening to people who are trying to give her sound advice."

            "Sounds like Willow got a life," Cordelia muttered, ignoring the glare it earned her from Xander.

            Angel was a little more perceptive.  There had to be a reason Buffy wasn't dealing with it herself.  "Why doesn't Buffy just kill him?"

            Xander stood his ground, knowing that this question would come up.  "She thinks as long as he doesn't feed, he's fine.  All of them seem to think that the fact Willow is sleeping with him isn't a big deal."

            Cordelia spoke up before Angel could respond.  "So let me get this straight.  You want Angel to come up to Sunnydale and dust Spike because you think it would make Willow be the way she was before she started dating him?"  She just looked at him with a straight face and said, "What delusion are you living in?  All that would do is make her angry and upset.  Plus she'd never speak to you again.  It wouldn't change her back to the way she was.  If anything it might make her even more rebellious.  Your logic is a little backwards, Xander.  Everyone else is obviously dealing with and liking the new Willow.  You should try to deal with it too.  She's been your best friend forever.  Don't you think she deserves it?"  With that she turned and walked out of the office.

            Cordelia's words made sense to Angel, but he knew he had to see for himself that his wayward childe was behaving himself.  "I'll be up there tonight.  I'll take care of Spike.  On my own," he emphasized.

            Xander nodded, pleased that Cordelia's words hadn't swayed Angel.  He turned and walked back out to his car without another word certain that by tomorrow Spike would be dust.

            When Xander left, Angel went down to the training room where Cordelia was stretching out on the floor mats.  She used the area to dance.  "So are you going to kill him?"  She said, sliding down into the splits.

            "I didn't tell Xander that I was going to kill Spike, just that I'd be up there tonight.  All I'm going to do is watch him for a while and make sure that he isn't hurting her or anyone else.  But I have to assume since Buffy and Giles haven't done anything that he's behaving himself.  Even so, I'll have a little chat with him."

            Cordelia smiled and did a pirouette over to him.  "Have a little chat with him?  Come on Angel, we both know where that mind of yours is wandering.  You just want to see your favorite childe again."  He gave her a look that told her she was treading on thin ice with the topic but she just ignored it.  "Don't think I don't know why you never killed him.  You made him for yourself."

            "Cordy, that's enough," he growled, even as he admitted that it was true.  No matter how much he and Spike hurt each other, he could never kill his childe.  He was made purely for Angelus' pleasure.  "I'm going to change and then go.  I'll be back tomorrow or the next day.  Let Doyle know."

            He turned his back and made his way to the bedroom, trying to ignore the feeling of nervousness he had about seeing his boy again.

            Spike stared at the clock on the wall.  'I wish the bloody sun would just set already,' he thought.  They were out of blood and he needed to go to the butchers to get some.  Feeding off pig's blood wasn't the most disgusting thing he'd ever done, but it came close.  It was worth it, though, if it meant that he kept Willow in his life.

            Ten minutes later the sun finally dipped below the horizon and Spike began walking toward Main Street.  The night was actually quiet for once but he was cautious anyways, after all, it was Sunnydale.  No telling what bad things were lurking in the dark.

            It took him twenty minutes to get to the butchers and another ten to get the blood.  He thought about heading over to Willy's for a pint but decided against it.  Willow was going to be home soon.  After their little gossip, movie, and ice cream session that morning, the girls did each other's hair and makeup while he retreated to the bedroom for some sleep.  At around five o'clock they got all gussied up and went to dinner with plans to go to the Bronze afterwards.  He'd been relieved when they left so he could have some time to himself. 

            He was only a block from Willow's when he realized he was being followed.  He stopped, not moving a muscle.  He thought he was going crazy but he recognized the scent of his sire in the air.  No one could mistake the scent of hair gel and Calvin Klein cologne.  "You may as well come out, Peaches.  I know you're there."  Spike turned just as Angel stepped out from behind a tree.  "For a private investigator you sure need to work on being more subtle when tracking people."  Angel didn't say a word, just stood there.  "Let me guess why you're here.  I'm willing to bet that the whelp came down to LA with stories of how I was corrupting Willow and changing her.  Probably said that if you got rid of me she'd go back to being the Willow she was before.  The one that constantly got taken advantage of by people that were supposed to be her friends."

            "Yeah, I think it was something like that.  But he also told me Buffy and Giles weren't worried, because you weren't hunting.  I found it odd that William the Bloody wasn't feeding on innocents just because a girl, not even an exceptionally beautiful one at that, asked him to."

            The bag full of blood packets hit the ground at the same time Spike's hand wrapped around Angel's throat.  "Don't you ever speak about Red like that.  She's the most beautiful woman I've ever known," he growled, slipping into his demon visage without a second thought.

            Angel removed Spike's hand from his throat, unable to believe that this was the same person that tortured him for the Gem of Amara.  But then, Spike always took love seriously.  And he did love Willow.  That much Angel could tell without even asking him.  "I just had to see if Buffy and Giles were right in letting you live.  I meant no offense.  And I would have to agree with you about Willow.  She is beautiful.  Especially now that she's cut her hair."  

            Angel wasn't looking at him, but over his shoulder.  Spike turned and there was Willow, watching them with wide eyed fascination.  

            "Hey baby," he said, with a smile, letting his human visage slide back into place.  

            Angel couldn't help but watch Willow.  She was completely different from the young girl that he'd known just a year ago.  She walked up to Spike and, without any hesitation, kissed him passionately.

            For several minutes they were lost in each other, until Angel finally had to clear his throat to get their attention.  Willow looked up at him with a smile on her face, her eyes twinkling with mischief.  He didn't like the glint he saw there.  "You know," she said, practically purring, "I wouldn't mind if you wanted to…." She let her words trail off and just looked at him, her eyes full of knowledge.

            Angel didn't bother to question how she knew.  He didn't even think about what he was going to do.  He just jumped at the chance to feel Spike in his arms again.  Before he could move or say a word Spike was pulled roughly against his sire.  "I'm going to kiss you, boy," Angel whispered, holding tightly to Spike's shirt, knowing his childe would object.

            "Oh no you bloody well ar…" he said, only to be cut off by Angel's mouth.

            Spike struggled for several seconds, eyes wide open and trying to get away, until Angel's tongue slipped into his mouth and then he was in heaven.  Angel's kisses were always like a glimpse of some heavenly delight.

            His eyes slid closed when Angel's hand slipped up to cup the back of his head and he held on to his sire's hips with a death grip.  He moaned as everything that they once shared came flooding back, making them desperate with desire.  They completely forgot that Willow was there.

            She smiled.  "If you guys want we can take this inside."  She watched as they broke apart slowly with a series of small kisses.  Spike's eyes were still closed when Angel stepped away from him.  It was only Willow's soft touch on his arm that brought him back to the present.  With a growl he brushed her hand off of him.  "You had no bloody right to do that," he snapped at her.  "And where do you get off kissing me after all this time, you wanker?  I don't ever want you to touch me again!"  He grabbed the blood off the ground and stalked away.  They watched him jog down the block and listened until they heard the front door of Willow's house slam behind him.

            She looked at Angel and was immediately sorry for even suggesting the idea.  "I'm so sorry, Angel."

            He smiled, a slow, sad smile.  "It's not your fault Willow.  I should have known better.  There's a lot of bad blood between us.  Too much.  I should have thought about that before I kissed him."

            "You have to bury the hatchet sometime.  I know that it may not seem like it but he needs you.  I love him and I know that he loves me, probably more than he ever thought possible.  But there's a place in him that I can't touch, because even if he won't admit it, he belongs to you."

            "How do you even know about all of this?"

            "He told me some of it.  Not all, but enough."  She giggled at the surprise on Angel's face.  "We don't keep secrets from each other.  There are some things I know he'll never tell me, but other than that I know everything I need to about him.  I also know why you're here.  Cordelia called me on my cell phone to tell me that you had a visit from Xander."

              Angel nodded.  "I never actually planned to let you know I was here unless I saw that he was hurting you."

            "He'd never hurt me."

            "I know that now.  He loves you, more than I think he's ever loved anyone.  Even me."  It came out as such an anguished whisper it was all Willow could do not to cry.

            "I don't think of love in terms of more.  I think of it as different.  More implies seniority and I don't think that love is something that can be given a rank.  He loves me a lot, just in a different way than he loves you.  He'll never admit it.  He'll probably deny it until the day he turns to dust, but part of his heart will always belong to you."

            "When did you grow up, Willow Rosenberg?" he asked, smiling down at her.

            "When no one was looking."

            "Spike was."

            "Yeah, he was."  She smiled.  "I'm fine, Angel.  We both are, despite what Xander said.  I'll make sure he stays safe."

            Relief washed across Angel's features.  "I always loved him, you know.  He was it for me.  No one else ever came close.  Not even Buffy.  But I never told him.  That's my biggest regret."

            "I know."  She always had.  She and Giles were the only ones that ever noticed Angel's face when his childe was brought up in conversation.

            "I've got to be going.  I told Cordy I'd be back as soon as possible."

            "Okay.  I'm glad I got to see you.  And who knows, maybe one day, he'll come around."

            "I doubt it but it's a nice thought."

            "Have a good drive back," she said, turning to look at him, but he was already gone.  "I hate it when he does that."  Sighing, she walked toward her house thinking about the angry vampire inside, certain that it was going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer:  I own nothing…all characters are property of Joss Whedon, etc.

Summary:  Willow and Spike deal with the repercussions of the kiss.  Xander takes drastic measures.

Author's Note:  I played around just a little with Angel and Spike's history.  It was the only way I could make it work with the story.

Chapter 6

            Willow bit her lip and glanced over at Spike who was stretched out on the sofa.  He was reading Catcher in the Rye and there was a pair of wire frame glasses perched on his nose.  It had been two long days since Angel had been in town.  Since that time he'd barely spoken to her, let alone touched her.  It was driving her crazy.  She had to get him to talk.

            "Spike?"

            He didn't look up from his book.  "Willow."

            "I want to talk to you."

            He sighed, knowing exactly what she wanted to talk to him about.  Ever since Angel had been in town he had avoided the topic, avoided her, as best he could considering he lived with her.  "I'm not going to discuss anything that happened with you Willow.  Leave it be."

            "Spike, I know that you don't want to talk about it but it might…"

            He threw down his book and took off his glasses.  "Just bloody well leave it alone.  I'm not going to talk to you about this!"

            "Oh yes you are!" she yelled back.  "You can't keep it bottled up forever!  I thought we weren't going to keep anything from each other!"

            "What do you want me to say, Willow?  That Angelus made me for him?  That I loved him so much I nearly died from grief when he abandoned us?  That when he kissed me the other night I was ready to beg him to come inside just so I could have one memory of him loving me to carry forever?  Would you like to hear about how when he lost his soul and became Angelus again he beat me, physically and emotionally?  Did you want to know that I didn't care because any attention from him was better than none at all, because I loved him!  He brutalized me and I still loved him!  I'll hate him until he turns to dust, but I'll always love him more!"  He was screaming and tears were running down his cheeks.  It was taking every ounce of courage in her not to run from the room at the look of anger on his face and the pain filled words spewing out of his mouth. 

            "Spike, I'm…"

            "Don't say your sorry!  Don't you bloody say it!"

            She ignored him and kept going.  "I'm sorry that I said he could kiss you.  I'm sorry that it brought up all these old feelings for you.  I love you and I just want you to be happy.  I know I make you happy and I know you love me, but despite what you say I don't complete you.  Part of you will always belong to him."  She sighed when she saw that he was calming down.  Tears still fell from his eyes, but his anger was fading, and he sort of collapsed back onto the sofa.

            "You do complete me.  I don't need anyone else," he whispered, denying her words and the truth behind them.

             "Maybe not now.  But one day you will.  One day, you two will be all that's left of us and you'll find that you need each other more than either of you realize."

            He wiped at the tears that dripped down his cheeks, unable to believe that he'd been reduced to crying.  It hurt to think that she might be right, that he did need Angel.  Maybe not every day but there was some part of him, some base instinct that would always draw him to his sire.  That bond would always be there no matter what they did to each other.  But right at the moment it hurt even more to think that one day Willow would be gone from his life, taking all her beauty, fire, and passion with her.

            "Are you okay?" she asked, from where she still sat in the chair.

            "Yeah.  Can't believe I started bawlin' like a bleedin' baby."  He looked up at her and silently she rose, knowing that he wanted to hold her without him having to say a word.  She straddled his lap on her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck, cradling his head against her shoulder.

            "It's okay, you know," she said when he finally relaxed against her.  He stiffened and tried to pull away but she just held tight and soon he relaxed again.  "After you left, he said that he knew you loved me, probably more than you ever loved anyone, even him.  And I told him that you can't love one person more or less than someone else.  You can only love them differently.  I loved Oz but in a different way than I love you.  It's always different."

            "He knew?" he asked in a whisper that came out so sad she began to cry.

            "He knew.  He also said that his biggest regret was never letting you know that he felt the same way.  From the first time he saw you that was it for him."  She smiled softly.  "I know how he feels."

            Spike laughed, a hoarse tear-filled laugh.  "You must think I'm sick."

            "No.  I think you're a vampire that has lived for a hundred and twenty six years.  Anyone who lives that long is bound to rack up some interesting experiences…and loves."

            "I've loved exactly three people."

            "Can you really count Dru though?  I mean, she was a little nuts and you were like her nurse."

            "With Dru it was different.  After Angelus left I just wanted someone…anyone to love me.  For some reason I thought she could offer me that.  Somewhere in the back of my head, though, I knew she couldn't, I just didn't want to admit it to myself.  I did love her, but not like I love you.  With you it's real because you can love me back.  Dru doesn't understand love.  She can't."

            "So are we okay?" she asked hesitantly.

            He smiled and kissed her softly.  "We're good.  But don't go telling Peaches he can kiss me again."

            "Okay."  She paused uncertain if she should continue, finally deciding that it was best to get everything out in the open.  "I think should  know that I wouldn't object if you wanted to…re-establish…the claim."

            He stared at her, stunned.  "What does my little witch know about vampire claims?  And how in the bloody hell did you know Angelus and I claimed each other?"

            "Well, you told me that you and Angel used to be…intimate and I understood that.  But I wanted to know more about you and him so I looked in the Watcher Diaries and other books that are in Giles' locked cabinet."  

            Spike smirked.  She was so mischievous sometimes and curious as a cat.  "I was going to tell you when I thought you might be ready.  I want you to be sure before you agree to it.  Claiming is done for life.  You can have other lovers, but you'll always belong to the one you are mated to, and you would feel a bond with anyone that your mate may have been claimed by before you.  You would feel the bond with Angel, but it wouldn't be as strong because your bond to him would be through me."

            "Would it bind me to anyone besides you and him?"

            "No.  Neither Peaches or I ever made Dru our mate.  Dru was too crazy.  Darla never claimed Angelus either.  She never was big on rituals and the claiming ritual is intense.  It was just the two of us."

            Willow couldn't help but smile at that.  He was so certain that Angel hated him, yet Angelus never claimed anyone else.  She thought of the brooding vampire and how he would feel if she could restore his relationship with Spike.  But there was also Angel's soul and Buffy to consider.  Morrigan could make Angel's soul permanent.  It was something they'd been researching.  Would he choose Spike or go back to Buffy?  And if he chose Spike it would give her a small bond to him when Spike claimed her.  Despite the fact that she was moving on, Buffy might have trouble accepting that.  "I'm going to need time to think about it.  There's so many people to consider."

            "Take all the time you need."

            "As for how I knew about you and Angel, there were nearly three pages describing the claiming ritual between you.  How did the watchers find out something like that?"  

            "I'd like to know the answer to that as well, luv."

Willow sighed and rested against him.  "You know we have to go see Giles tomorrow?"

            "I know, luv.  I'm not looking forward to it, but if it helps keep you in your friends' good graces then I'll do it.  I'll ask him about the Diaries then."

            Willow just nodded, not really comprehending what he said.  "I love you, Spike," she whispered, her eyes beginning to drift shut.  Just before the blackness of slumber engulfed her she heard him whisper, "Love you too."

            "You're breaking up with me?!" Xander yelled.  They were in the training room at the Magic Box and had just finished inventory.  

            "Yes, Xander.  I'm breaking up with you."

            "Why?"

            "If you must know you haven't been around at all lately.  All you do is worry about Willow and wonder what you can do to get rid of Spike and get her back to normal.  Well here's some truth for you Xander.  She's not going to change back.  She likes who she is and she loves Spike.  The rest of us have accepted it.  Hell, we all like her better now.  But I don't want to be with someone who spends all his time looking to destroy his best friend's life, even if he's claiming to do it out of the best of intentions.  Plus, half the time I don't think you even really like me.  You cut me off when I talk.  You tell me to be quiet or constantly act embarrassed by me because I say the wrong thing.  Well I'm sorry, Xander, but I'd like to see you try to adapt to being human again after nearly eleven hundred years as a demon.  It's pretty damn hard to go from having immense power to being normal."

            "But An…"

            "No, Xander.  There's no discussing this.  I'm a human.  I have free will.  And I choose to exercise it by saying that we're through."

            Everything was going so wrong.  Angel didn't dust Spike like he said he would, Willow and Spike were acting even more lovey-dovey than ever, and now Anya was breaking up with him.  All the anger and frustration burst out of him, spewing forth in a torrent of hurtful words.  "You know what?  You're right.  I never really did like you.  You were just a fine piece of ass in the right place at the right time.  After Cordy dumped me you were just a convenient lay.  As for Spike, well, I'm taking care of that."

            "That was mean, Xander.  I didn't want to hurt you.  But you won't let me be me.  I need someone who will.  Please leave Willow and Spike alone.  They're happy and he's behaving.  Stop this before someone really gets hurt."

            "Sorry Anya.  You don't get to make requests like that anymore.  You just dumped me.  Remember?"  He turned and stormed out the back entrance, leaving Anya standing there shocked.  

            For a Tuesday night Willy's was pretty crowded.  Normally Xander never would have gone in without Buffy but tonight he didn't care.  The demons cleared a path for him, feeling the anger rolling off of him in huge waves.  

            He walked straight up to the bar and grabbed Willy by the front of his shirt.  "I need a name."

            Willy went wide-eyed, recognizing one of the Slayer's friends.  Only he looked out of control.  There was a look in his eyes that Willy's only seen a few times before.  Something pushed the kid over the edge and he wanted payback.  "Sure man.  Willy's always willing to help a friend of the Slayer's.  Just tell me what you want and I'll get it."

            "I need an assassin.  Not some amateur, but a good one.  Someone to take out a master vamp."

            Willy thought fast, knowing that he was on borrowed time with this kid who was like a bomb just waiting for the fuse to be lit.  "I got it!  I know a girl, she's the best there is.  Goes by the name Nemesis.  Has somethin' to do with Greek myth.  She uses a bow and arrow to kill her targets."

            "Perfect.  How do I find her?"

            "You don't.  She finds you.  I can give her a message.  She picks them up here every day."

            "You do that.  You tell her tomorrow, eight o'clock, Shady Rest Cemetary.  South gate."  He released his hold on Willy and walked out the door.

            "Man someone pissed that kid off.  I'd hate to be on his bad side right now," he muttered as he went back to serving drinks to demons.

            Spike sat inside the Watcher's office at the Magic Box waiting for the man to say something.  After several minutes he couldn't take it anymore.  "Sod it all, if you aren't going to say something I'm going to go."

            "Well, there's not really much I can say is there.  It's not like you would leave Willow alone if I asked you to."

            "I wouldn't do that for all the money in the world.  Certainly wouldn't do it for you."

            "So you see, I'm at a loss as to how to go about this.  Originally I was going to threaten you but then I realized that would be useless.  You're still a vampire without a soul."

            "Damn straight."

            "So I decided to call you here to tell you that I accept your relationship with Willow, though I would prefer never to hear intimate details…again."  He paused to wipe his glasses.  "I also want to say that I'm glad she finally came into her own.  She loves you."  His voice got dangerously low and traces of Ripper came to the fore.  "So by God if you ever hurt her in any way I will make sure that you suffer the most horrifying, unending torture I can devise.  I will make it last for years, bloodying you up until I either get tired or bored, whichever comes first.  Then I'll kill you."

            Spike just stared at the Watcher.  Then he smiled.  "Bloody hell that was a good show.  I never knew you had it in you watcher.  You've been holding out on us.  Where did you learn that?"

            Spike's excitement over his threat was contagious.  "Yes, well, people are not always what they appear."

            "I'll say.  That was great.  Even startled me.  If I'd been expectin' it though…"

            "Of course," Giles readily agreed, not wanting to strike a blow to Spike's ego.

            "By the way, Red mentioned something to me about some pages she read in the Watcher Diaries."

            "How did…" he began but stopped when realization struck.  "She went into my locked cabinet didn't she?"  Spike nodded, smirking.  "Well, what did she tell you?"

            "She read about the claiming ritual between Angelus and I.  I want to know how it ended up in there.  That was completely private.  For Christ's sake, we were in the middle of nowhere when we did it.  Besides, aren't those diaries supposed to be about the slayers?"

            "The diaries are about the slayers.  But they are also about the demons and vampires that each slayer faces.  Some vampires and demons are tracked more than others.  When did you perform the ritual?"

            "Not long before Peaches got all soul happy."

            "That explains it.  You're lives were being recorded because the slayer at the time was following you.  That gypsy girl that Angel killed was the slayer.  Of course he knew that.  He caught her at a moment when she was weak from fighting off a large group of vampires.  Nearly thirty according to the diaries.  Angel just walked right up behind her and drank."

            "He never told me he killed a slayer."

            "I don't imagine he would have.  He was cursed just hours later."

            "Do they know?"

            "No and I'd prefer to keep it that way.  It would destroy Buffy."  Giles took a deep breath before asking his next question, knowing very well it could anger Spike.  "Do you still love him?"

            Spike just tilted his head as if trying to get inside Giles' mind, his crystal blue eyes filled with a century of knowledge.  "I always have.  But in no way does that mean that I love Willow any less."  Giles nodded, satisfied with the knowledge that Spike was telling him the truth.  "Can I go?"

            "Yes."

            "You don't want to speak to both of us?"

            "I don't think that's necessary.  You passed."

            "I wasn't aware I was being tested."

            "I know," Giles said, smiling.

            Spike smirked at him and walked out the door.  'The Watcher is certainly more than he appears to be,' he thought as Willow placed her hand in his and they walked out of the store.

            Xander paced back and forth in front of the south gate of Shady Rest.  It was two minutes until eight and he couldn't see anyone coming from any direction.  He spun on his heel about to make another lap, only to come face to face with a young girl.

            She looked no more than seventeen but if anyone ever asked she could easily tell them she was over five hundred years old.  Her hair was thick and raven black.  It fell in soft, layered waves down to her waist.  She was tall, almost as tall as Angel, and had these mesmerizing golden eyes.  She was wearing a simple outfit consisting of black leather pants and a ribbed black turtleneck sweater.  A brown leather pouch was strapped to her back and he could see the ends of arrows protruding from it.  Her bow rested on her shoulder.  When she spoke it was with a low, husky voice that eerily reminded him of Faith.  "I was told you wish to see me."

            "Uh…yeah," Xander said, not sure how to respond to her.  Her presence was overpowering.  She carried this aura of power and self-control.  Like she could kill in a split second if she needed to.  "I want to hire you," he continued, refusing to let his fear get the best of him.

            "Can you afford me?"

            Xander pulled out a stack of bills.  There must have been at least two thousand dollars there.  "Two thousand to kill a master vampire."

            "Five thousand is my minimum price."

            "Three thousand," he said pulling another thousand out of his pocket.

            "Four."

            "Three thousand, five hundred.  And not a penny more."

            She held out her hand, and he shook it.  "Deal," they both said.

            "So who do you want dead?" she asked.

            "There's a vampire, a master.  He goes by the name Spike.  I want him turned to dust.  I don't care how and I don't care when as long as it's not too long.  He has bleach blond hair, speaks with a British accent, and wears black the majority of the time."

            "I am familiar with him.  William the Bloody has quite a history."

            He wasn't expecting that.  "Oh.  Okay." He pulled out half of the money and handed it to her.  "You'll get the other half when he's dust."

            "I'll be seeing you soon then."  

            "I hope so."  She turned and walked away, fading back into the dark shadows that she came from.

            Xander began to whistle a jaunty tune as he headed home, anticipating Spike's demise.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  All belongs to Joss Whedon, etc.

Summary:  The next chapter will probably be the last one, unless my brain figures out a way for me to keep it going.  Warning:  Character Death.   Sort of.

Chapter 7

            Things were going so perfectly for her she knew something was wrong.  She was happier than she'd ever been in her life, but most of the time it felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Buffy and Anya said she was paranoid, but Xander was out there somewhere trying to figure out a way to kill Spike.

            She hated thinking of her best friend like that.  They'd been friends for so long.  When Jesse was alive they were the Three Musketeers.  Jesse.  It'd been forever since she thought about him.  So long since he'd died at the hands of the Master.  Things had been so much simpler back then.

            She smiled as Spike walked into the living room, taking a bite out of the Red Delicious apple in his hand.  He was a strange vampire.  Angel never ate human food, but Spike loved it.  He loved lots of things that humans brought to the world.  

            "So what are we doing tonight, luv?" he asked, lifting her legs up off the couch so he could sit down, then laying them back across his lap.

            "I don't know.  It's been a while since we've been to Morrigan's.  I was thinking we could maybe invite Anya and Buffy."

            Spike glanced at her, not too keen on the idea.  "I don't know if it would be a good idea to let the slayer in there.  It's supposed to be a safe haven for us demons, remember?"

            "I know.  I was just thinking that if we talked to her beforehand and explained things then maybe…"

            "I doubt Morrigan would like it.  And I can't imagine the slayer actually relaxing in a club full of vamps, demons, and witches."

            Willow sighed.  He was right.  Buffy would never relax in that type of atmosphere.  "So we Bronze it?"

            "Sure.  Why don't you call the slayer and Anya and tell them to meet us there."

            "You could call her by her name you know."

            "Who?" he asked, a completely innocent look on his face.

            "Buffy.  You don't have to call her the Slayer.  That's not who she is.  It's what she does."

            "So you're saying that I have to call her Buffy?"

            "Yeah, I am."

            "And what do I get for performing this great deed?"

            "Lots of sex."

            "And if I don't do it."

            "I bet I can hold out a hell of a lot longer than you can," she said, smirking at him, before running up the stairs to call Buffy and Anya and get ready to go.

            Buffy kept glancing at Willow and Spike, unable to believe that just a two months ago her friend had been…well, boring.  Willow was great, she always had been, but now that she had this whole new style and attitude she was a blast.  They were on their way to the Bronze for a night of dancing.  She got the feeling that Willow wanted to go somewhere else, but that taking her in wouldn't have been a good thing.  She was fine with that.  There were some things in Sunnydale she just didn't want to know about.

            She smiled as Anya went on about how she and Giles were going on a date Saturday night.  She was happy for them.  After Jenny was killed she thought he'd never date again.  And Anya was really perfect for him.  Sure she talked a lot and said the wrong things sometimes but she was smart, funny, and loyal to those she believed deserve it.

            They were walking through the park to get across town when Buffy heard a slight whizzing noise.  She looked around trying to find where it was coming from but couldn't see anyone or anything around them.  That's when it happened.  Spike cried out in pain as an arrow imbedded itself in his shoulder.  Lucky it went all the way through.

            "Bloody hell!  Where'd that come from?" he shouted before breaking off the shaft and reaching behind himself with his good arm and pulling out the arrowhead.

            "Oh God!  Spike!  Are you okay?" Willow said, worried about him.  

            "I'm fine Red.  It's just a small wound.  It'll heal in no time."  He glanced down at his new leather jacket and black silk shirt.  Willow insisted he start dressing somewhat normal…at least part of the time.  So he bought some nice clothes, though he still insisted he looked like Peaches.  "Ruined my new clothes though."

            She smiled.  "You can always buy more.  It's not like you're going to run out of money anytime soon."

            Buffy was scanning the area searching for any sign of life.  "You're rich?" she asked, stunned by the idea.

            "What?  I've been alive a hundred and twenty six years, not counting my human years.  You honestly think I never learned to save a dime in all that time?  I bet demon girl has even more stashed away than I do."

            Buffy looked at Anya who just blushed.  "Why are you always money, money, money, if you have piles of it stashed away?" she asked.

            "Well, I just want more.  You can never have enough money.  Besides, I like to buy things, and sometimes my shopping trips can get a little out of hand."

            "I hate to break up this little money fest, but did anyone happen to see who the bloody hell shot me?" Spike broke in.

            "I did."  It was a soft voice, yet low and gravely.   It came from behind them and they all turned to see who spoke, except no one was there.  "I'm over here the voice said and they faced back the direction they'd been going and there she stood, like a tall, unmovable ice princess.  Except she wasn't ice, she was fire.  Shimmering black hair hung to her waist in dark waves.  Her eyes practically glowed in the light of the moon.  She was wearing a pair of gold leather pants and a matching gold leather bikini top.  More fascinating that her was the golden bow she carried.  It was ornately detail with hand carved symbols all over it.  The arrows were wood, but dipped in gold paint to match the bow.

            "Who are you?  Why did you shoot him?" Willow asked while Buffy fell into a defensive stance.

            The woman just looked at Buffy as she raised her bow, drawn tight with another arrow aimed at Spike's heart..  "This does not concern you or your friends, slayer.  I have no quarrel with you.  Just the vampire."

            "Well that vampire is a friend and I don't leave here without all of my friends.  Now who are you?"

            "I am Nemesis."

            Willow's eyes widened.  "That's not possible.  Nemesis was a goddess.  Granted she was a minor one, but she was a goddess all the same."

            "I am not a goddess.  But I do her work, in her name."

            "You're an assassin," Anya said.  "I believe we met once.  I hired you to kill a cheating lover of mine.  But that was almost three hundred years ago."

            "I remember you well, Anyanka.  Please go.  My business is with him."

            "What do you want with him?"  Willow cried, holding onto Spike tightly.  He wasn't moving, wasn't saying a word.  She could tell he was trying to figure out a way to get them out of there without anyone else getting hurt.  

            Nemesis remained quiet.  It was Anya who told her.  "Someone hired you to kill Spike, didn't they?" Still no response.  "Let me guess.  Dark haired boy, about average height with a slight weight problem?"  Finally Nemesis nodded.  "Xander," Anya sighed.

She was about to try to talk Nemesis out of killing Spike when Xander walked out from behind some bushes and grabbed Willow's arm, dragging her away from Spike. 

            "Now!" he shouted.

            Buffy ran at Nemesis hoping to get to her before she released the arrow, but she was too late.  She tackled the assassin just after the arrow left the bow.  Willow screamed and broke away from Xander's hold, jumping in front of Spike to push him down, only to feel the arrow pierce her back.

            "Nooo!" Spike screamed, his cry full of anguish.  He caught Willow in his arms as she began to fall.  Gently he laid her on her side on the ground.  The arrow had pierced her all the way through her chest and he could hear her wheezing breath, realizing that the arrow must have punctured a lung.  "Oh God, Baby!  You're going to be all right he murmured, cradling her head in his lap.  "You're going to be just fine."  He kept whispering to her as Anya ran to call an ambulance.

            Buffy saw Willow fall and couldn't move.  Next to her Nemesis disappeared, probably realizing that it was in her own best interests.  Xander knelt beside Willow.  "It wasn't supposed to be like this, Will.  Why couldn't you just stay out of the way?"  Tears were running down his cheeks.

            Willow opened her mouth a couple of times, trying to speak, but the words weren't coming easily.  Finally she managed to choke out two words.  "Love…him."  Xander fell back, the realization of what he'd done finally hitting him.  Buffy crouched next to Spike and tried to comfort her friend.

            "Ambulance should be here in fifteen minutes," Anya said, running up.

            "Too..long," Willow whispered, a tear tracing a path down her cheek.

            "It is not too bloody long!  You are not going to die on me!" Spike shouted.    "Don't you remember?  You're my soul!  This was supposed to a forever deal!  You and Me!  Don't you dare leave me, Red!"

            "Dying, Spike."

            He shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks.  He knew it was the truth though.  He could hear her heartbeat beginning to slow down.  Buffy just looked at him, tears in her eyes, as if she expected him to save her.  But what did he know about saving anyone.  He was Death.

            They all sat there, Anya huddled next to them, keeping vigil over their fallen friend.  Xander watched as they banded together to help Willow.  It was all his fault.  Willow was dying because of him.

            Willow's eyes closed momentarily, worrying everyone, but then they opened again, pain glazed and tear filled.  "Turn me…" she whispered, loud enough for everyone, including Xander to hear.

            He was the first to jump up.  "No!" he shouted.  "You will not make her a monster!"

            "Shut up, Xander!" Buffy cried.  "This is all your fault!  You don't get a say anymore!"  She was surprised when he backed down.

            Spike looked down at Willow and thought about everything he loved about her.  She was warm and radiant, with a fire and passion that he'd never seen in anyone else.  Her mind was quick and she was witty.  He loved everything human about her.  He couldn't make her like him.  He'd lose all of that.  "I can't do it, luv.  I won't make you like me.  You couldn't live your life in the darkness."

            "Spike!" Buffy shouted.  "Do it.  It's the only way she'll survive."

            Willow looked up at him.  "Turn me…Morrigan…restore my soul…."

            Her heartbeat and pulse were getting threadier and they still heard no sirens.  He looked at her and just like that first night, he saw nothing but trust in her eyes.  She wanted him to do this, so he'd do it.  For her.  "Buffy," he said, calling her by her name instead of Slayer.  "I need you to break off the shaft of the bow and pull the rest out the front."  Buffy did as she was told, cringing when Willow screamed in pain.  

Anya watched the whole macabre scene horrified.  It was the first time she'd ever experienced sadness like this.  She'd never had a friend on the verge of death before, never realized that she was caused similar feelings of pain for other people.  At that moment, for the first time since it happened, she was glad to be human.

Spike adjusted his body so that she was laying back against him, her back to his chest.  He tilted her neck and ran his fingers over the smooth skin, feeling the blood calling out to him.  He refused to let his demon come forth.  "Love you forever," he whispered as his lips closed over her neck.  His fangs descended, piercing the skin ever so gently.  Willow moaned and he paused to look at her.  She nodded for him to keep going.  

            Her blood was like the font of life.  It was sweet and tasted of oranges and passion, just like she did.  There was a fire in her blood that he never wanted to extinguish.  He listened careful as her heartbeat slowed until it almost stopped.  He lifted his mouth from her neck, his fangs pulling out of her skin.  Lifting his wrist to his lips, he bit into the skin, puncturing a vein.  He held it up to her mouth and watched as she placed her mouth over the bite, taking his blood into her.  For several minutes she drank from him, before his wrist fell from her mouth and she passed out.  

            They could all hear the sirens in the distance and realized that the ambulance was almost there.  "We have to get out of here, now!" Buffy said, rising then brushing the tears off her face.  "I won't let them take her and have her waking up in some morgue.  We're going to Giles."

            Spike stood and lifted Willow into his arms, taking care not to handle her roughly.  Slowly he followed Buffy and Anya out of the park, knowing that they were taking a path that would steer them away from the ambulance.  He knew the boy was there behind him somewhere, but at that moment he didn't really care.  All he wanted to do was get Willow to Giles.  She was going to be hungry when she woke up, so he'd have to have someone get some blood from the butcher or the house.

            It only took them ten minutes to get to Giles' place.  Buffy pounded on the door, screaming for him to hurry up.  A few seconds later a tired, cranky Giles pulled the door open.  "Is it too much to ask for you children to let me have one decent night's sleep?"  He put his glasses on and surveyed the group.  "Oh my.  What happened?"

            "Willow's going to wake up in few hours and she's going to be very hungry," Buffy said, as Spike walked in and laid down on the sofa, holding Willow in a similar position as he had at the park.  

            "Again, I repeat, what happened?"

            Buffy was suddenly filled with anger.  Knowing that Willow was going to be fine, even if she was now a vampire, released all the sadness that had been inside her.  All she felt now was rage and most of it was directed at Xander.  "Why don't you ask, Xander?  I'm sure he'd be happy to explain how he hired an assassin to kill Spike.  Only things backfired.  He dragged Willow out of the way so that the woman could get a clean shot, but before the arrow reached Spike, Willow broke free and jumped in front of him to push him down, only to be struck by the arrow herself.  She was dying and wanted Spike to turn her."  Giles looked at the couple on the sofa and could see the tears on Spike's face.  It couldn't have been easy for him to give in to her request.  He then looked at Xander.  The boy was an idiot.  He always had been and always would be. 

            "What were you thinking?" he shouted.  It was taking all of his control not to let Ripper out.  "Do you ever think about the consequences your actions might have?  Haven't you caused enough damage to the people you supposedly love?  First Cordelia gets impaled on a piece of metal rebar and now Willow's been shot by an arrow, from an assassin's bow, and the only way to save her was to turn her.  Are you happy with yourself?  Did you get what you wanted?"

            Xander just stood there, taking it all.  "I just wanted Spike out of her life.  He was changing her, making her like him.  I thought that if I could get rid of him, she'd be Willow again."  He looked down at his shoes, knowing now how wrong he'd been.

            "You stupid, foolish boy.  She was always Willow.  It was you that couldn't handle the fact that she changed.  I thought you would have dealt with her new ways like an adult.  But I should have realized that was expecting too much from a child."  He paused, looking at Anya, then Buffy.  He knew they would agree with his next statement.  "Get out," he said calmly.

            "But Willow's my…"

            "Your what?  Best Friend?"  He gave a small laugh.  "I think that ended when your actions got her killed.  Now please leave.  We will tend to Willow."  Giles turned his back on Xander, as did Buffy and Anya.  They all hovered over Willow or comforted Spike.  Without a sound, Xander slipped from the apartment, feeling his world come crashing down around him, knowing that there was no way to stop it.

            When Giles heard the door shut behind Xander, he turned to Buffy.  "What will we do when she wakes?"

            "We need blood, either from Willow's or the butcher."

            "There's no need, I have some in my refrigerator," he said.  Buffy raised an eyebrow.  "I keep it in case Angel is in town, so I'm afraid there's only two packets."

            "That's enough for us to get her to someone named Morrigan.  Isn't that the witch Willow was training with?"

            "Yes.  I had a meeting with her this afternoon, actually.  She's a very pleasant woman."

            "Willow mentioned something about the fact that Morrigan could restore her soul.  But what about the clause?"

            Spike took his eyes off Willow for a moment, though his hand still stroked her hair softly.  "They figured out how to do it without the clause.  It was supposed to be a gift for Angel."  He knew that by telling them, he was voluntarily letting go of his claim on his sire.  Angel would never choose him over the slayer.  He was fine with that, though.  Willow was more than enough for him.  Sometimes he just wished things between Angelus and him could have been different.  But if they had, he'd never have Red in his life.

            Giles watched Spike carefully and knew how hard it was for the vampire to say those words.  In one night he'd been faced with losing Willow and now knew that if Angel's soul was anchored, that he would not be the one Angel chose.  He was giving up one love to help another and Giles couldn't have been more fascinated.  Spike was certainly the most human vampire he'd ever seen.  He was broken out of his reverie when Anya said, "She's waking up."

            "Willow?" Spike asked, hoping that she was okay.  He lifted up her shirt and examined her ribcage.  The wound was already healing.  He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he hugged her tightly.

            "Spike?  Where am I?" she asked, still very groggy.

            "We're at Giles', luv."

            "Oh.  Are we doing research?"

            "No, luv.  You were injured in the park.  We brought you here."

            "Am I okay?"

            "You'll be fine, sweetheart.  Just fine."  He looked down at her sweet face as she was about to drift back to sleep and hoped it was true.  

            Just as her eyes were almost completely shut, she whispered, "Spike?  I'm hungry."  

            And they watched as she fell into an exhausted slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Joss Whedon owns everything…including Spike.  L

Author's Note:  Thanks for all the great reviews.  Feedback makes me happy. 

Chapter 8

            For forty minutes he'd been waiting in the lower level of the club.  It had been packed for a Thursday night, but the second Morrigan saw Willow she ordered the bouncers to clear the place.  The smell of beer and fresh blood lingered in the air.  There were cups and glasses littering almost every table and there were puddles of liquid on the floor as well.  The bartender was still there serving up drinks to Anya, Buffy, and Giles.  They were all on pins and needles as well.  He couldn't bring himself to drink though, not with Willow upstairs getting her soul.  What the rest of them didn't know was that he was going to get his as well.  It wasn't something he wanted, he'd never planned to have it.  When Willow was alive she was his conscience.  She could still act as it as a souled vampire, but he didn't want her to spend forever worrying that he might give in to temptation one day.  So he was going to get his soul…just like Peaches.

            "Angel's on his way here you know," Buffy said, coming over to sit next to him on a small black leather sofa.

            "I know."

            "He's getting his soul anchored."

            "I know."

            "Is that all you can say?"

            He looked at her.  "No."

            She smiled for the first time all night.  Spike was the only one who could get her to do that.  "I know about you and him."

            He went back to looking straight ahead.  "There's nothing to know."

            "Isn't there?" she said.  He could hear the laughter in her voice and couldn't help but glance at her.  "I read the watcher diaries too.  I know everyone thinks I'm dumb as a box of rocks, but I do know how to read, especially when something interests me.  And Angel interested me.  I wanted to know about him and I found out a lot more than I expected."  She raised an eyebrow, and he knew she read about the claiming ritual.  "Just don't tell Giles.  He prefers to think I'm innocent when it comes to stuff like that."  Her face took on a serious look.  "So you and Angel, huh?  I never would have guessed.  You fought with and hated him so much over the past couple of years I can't really imagine you ever being in love with him.  But you were, weren't you?"  Spike didn't say anything.  He didn't even move.  "Or should I say you are?"

            That got his attention.  His head snapped towards her so fast she jerked back.  His eyes were nearly black and she was almost afraid for a moment.  "Willow's upstairs getting her soul restored and you want to discuss me and my sire?  Is there something wrong with you?"

            "No.  I know Willow's in good hands and will be just fine.  She has no guilt.  She's never killed.  It's going to be a lot more difficult for you."

            "What did you do, have some psychic go inside my head and dig up all this personal shit that you could ask me?"

            "Again the answer is no.  I'm pretty good at reading people, a lot like Anya is, except she's got about a thousand years worth of experience over me.  I know you're still in love with Angel.  You wouldn't have gone through with the ritual if you hadn't been sure that you'd love him forever.  I can understand that because he's so easy to love.  I also know that by telling me Morrigan and Willow found a way to anchor his soul you knew you might never have him again.  I appreciate that more than I can say Spike.  No one has ever done anything like that for me.  I never expected a vampire to be the first.  I love Angel.  Some part of me always will but I know now that we weren't soulmates.  I wanted to think so at the time because I was sixteen and head over heels in love.  But he wasn't meant for me, Spike.  He was meant for you."  She paused, noticing that Spike wasn't moving a muscle.  It was as if he'd been frozen in place by her words.  She smiled, knowing that what she was saying must come as a shock to him.  He wasn't one to hope and that's what she was giving him.  "As for the soul…I figured that if Willow had one and Angel had one you'd feel bad because temptation would be so much easier for you to give in to than them.  And you'd worry that they'd be disappointed or stop loving you if that ever happened."

            It took him a minute but Spike finally managed to form the words that he wanted to say.  "I can't believe all of that just came out of your mouth."  He saw her frown and start to rise, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.  "I didn't mean that in a bad way, it's just that, lengthy speeches aren't your thing, slayer…I mean Buffy.  Those usually belong to your watcher or Willow.  I don't know how I feel about you knowing so much about me, but I do have to say thank you."

            "For what?"

            "For hope.  It's something I haven't had in a long time."

            She smiled, enjoying this new found friendship with Spike.  "Just remember that when Angel gets here.  I expect you to say something.  I don't think Willow would mind sharing you."  She saw his entire body go taut.  "It won't be as bad as it seems.  Just tell him how you feel."

            "You don't understand.  The last time I saw him I told him to never touch me again."

            "He'll understand Spike.  He's pretty good at that."

            He was about to contradict her when Morrigan looked down at them from the walkway to her loft.  "It's done.  She's asleep right now.  But she'll be just fine once she rests.  Who's next?"

            Spike stood up, prepared to get it over with, but Buffy stopped him.  "Wait until you talk to Angel.  It'll be easier if you do it before.  He should be here in about an hour or so."  He went to pull away, wanting to avoid the conversation with his sire, but Buffy looked up at him with a silent plea in her eyes, and he couldn't take another step.  

            He looked at Morrigan.  "We're waiting on one other person, and there are some…things…that need to be cleared up before we go through with it."  Morrigan smiled, an all-knowing, motherly smile and went back into her loft to check on Willow.

            "Thank you, Spike," Buffy said softly.  All she wanted was for Angel to be happy and she was pretty sure that Spike could do that for him.

            "Bloody hell, I need a drink," he replied, stalking toward the bar.  "Whiskey.  Neat.  Now."  He tossed back the drink and set the glass on the bar.  "Gimme another."  He was about to drink the second one down, when Buffy pulled the glass from his hand.  

            "No getting drunk to talk to Angel."

            "Ah, slayer, why do you have to make everything so bloody difficult?"

            "Cause I'm the slayer.  It's my job.  Besides, I have a favor to ask you."

            "What could I possibly do for you?"

            "I want you to make me a promise."  He looked at her, intrigued.  "I'm tired of being the slayer.  I am tired of fighting every night worried that I may not make it home again.  I don't want to die at the hands of a demon or vampire."

            "So what are you saying?" he muttered sarcastically.

            "In two months I want you to turn me and have Morrigan restore my soul."

            Spike's eyes got huge.  A slayer was asking him to turn her into a vampire.  His night just couldn't get any more weird.  "You've got to be joking.  If your watcher didn't stake me, my sire would."

            "I'm dead serious, Spike.  I am going to need two months to explain my decision to everyone and let them come to grips with it.  But this is what I want."

            Everything in him told him to say no but he knew she'd just find someone else to do it.  "I'll do it, slayer.  In two months, I'll make you a vampire."  Buffy smiled and Spike sighed, crossing his arms on the flat surface of the bar, resting his head on them, trying to find some peace before the arrival of his sire, wondering if he hadn't just guaranteed a quick stake through the heart.

            Angel watched the dark road in front of him, ignoring Cordy who was chatting with Doyle.  They probably didn't realize that it was taking all his concentration just to stay on the road.  He was tense, his entire body taut with anticipation.  They were going to anchor his soul.  It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.  

            When Buffy called to tell him about Willow, he'd wanted to kill Xander for his actions.  No one messed with his childe.  Angelus had been straining at his bonds, the demon demanding revenge, but Angel managed to keep him under control.  Willow was a vampire now…with a soul.  He couldn't help but wonder how his childe was feeling.  It must have hurt him immensely to have to turn Willow.

            His childe.  William.  Spike.  Whatever incarnation he happened to be right at the moment.  The last time he'd seen him it had ended badly yet again, with Spike running off into the night.  But it hadn't been his childe's fault.  Angel had expected too much from a kiss.  They never talked, never said a word of apology.  He just kissed him and obviously it hurt Spike to remember just how much he would have done for his sire's love.

            He wondered what it would be like this time.  The chances were very slim that Spike would even speak to him.  If he ever laughed anymore he would have found it funny that Buffy would probably talk his ear off yet the only person he wanted to hear speak was Spike.

            Cordelia and Doyle had stopped talking when Doyle sat back and fell asleep.  Cordelia looked at Angel.  "You okay?"

            "I'm fine, Cordy."

            "Then why do you look like you're about to face a firing squad?"

            "I don't look like that."

            "Is it Spike?"  She smiled when he frowned.  "Worried that he still won't want you?"

            "Cordy…please don't."

            "You never did tell me what happened the last time you were up here.  You just came back and locked yourself away for days.  Was it that bad?"

            "It couldn't have been any worse."

            "Oh, Angel.  I'm sorry."

            "Don't be.  It was my fault.  I kissed him."  Cordelia's eyes got wide as saucers, but he continued anyway.  "I shouldn't have done it.  It was so stupid of me to think…I just shouldn't have done it."  He frowned, memories filling his mind.  "Spike used to believe in hope.  He used to believe that almost anything was possible.  I robbed him of that.  And when I kissed him I could feel all this hope inside of him just waiting to be released, but he held it back, refused to believe in it.  I stole all that innocence that made me want him in the first place."

            "He was innocent?" Cordelia laughed, trying to imagine Spike that way.

            "Yes, but you have to remember it was a different time.  He was young, only twenty-two, but he was a romantic.  He believed in true love and happy endings.  It might sound silly, but I wanted that.  As a human I never believed in any of those things.  But when I saw him I wanted to be able to believe in the same things he did.  I, one of the most feared vampires ever, wanted to believe in something as idealistic as true love.  I wanted to have that same innocence, which angered me, but I dealt with it.  I wanted him.  Hell, I loved him and that's what really pissed me off.  So, being Angelus, I watched him for weeks, like I did with Dru, only I had a different plan for him.  I cornered him in an alley one night and seduced him with words.  I told him about eternal life and how I would love him forever.  It was enough.  He wanted me, but even more so, he believed me.  He let me turn him.  And then I systematically destroyed everything he ever believed to be true, so that I wouldn't long for it anymore.  By the time I claimed him everything that made him so desirable to me in the first place was gone or buried.  It was the only way for him to survive.  The way he is today is the way I made him.  The sad thing is he never stopped loving me.  Not ever.  Which makes what I did to him even worse."

            Cordelia watched Angel with tears rolling down to her chin.  "That wasn't you Angel.  That was Angelus."

            "It was Angelus who loved him and used it against him.  But even now, with the soul, I still love him.  How do you explain that?  How is it that my feelings for Spike never changed, yet I can't stand the sight of Dru or Darla, the two women Angelus adored?"

            "I can't explain it Angel.  You can't explain away how you feel about someone or why.  You just do.  You need to put the past behind you and deal with the present.  You're about a half hour away from getting your soul anchored.  It's time for you to make a decision.  Do you want Buffy or Spike?  You can't have both.  It's time to be an adult and make up your mind."  Cordelia huffed when he said nothing and turned to look out the window.

            He didn't respond but he knew the answer.  He knew exactly who he wanted.  It was like he told Willow the night of that kiss, Spike was it for him.  Buffy never even came close.  Maybe now he could change things and make up for the past.  Maybe now he could learn about his childe all over again and see if any of that innocence still remained.  Maybe this was his chance at a whole new life.  He looked out the windshield and couldn't help the feeling of peace that came over him when he saw the sign:  Sunnydale   25 miles.


End file.
